My Encounter with Mr. Fancy Pants

Big Boss - Mr Fancy PantsOne night I was pondering the question about how to take my business and financial situation to the next level. I felt inspired to write a letter to my sub conscious since it seemed like it was my sub conscious mind that was blocking me from rising to a higher level of success. I explained my reasons for my vision as well as for wanting to get to the core issues, rather than just getting a slight bump. I sincerely wanted to know what was holding me back and how to get through it.

That night I had an interesting dream. I dreamt that a friend that I hadn’t seen since High School had come to visit with his father. We were going to go out to eat at an expensive restaurant. I believe it was Benihana’s. For some reason, they went ahead and had dinner first because I had to take care of some things. After they returned, I went by myself to this expensive restaurant. I only ordered a small amount and the total came to $40. I thought it seemed crazy that it was so expensive for such a small amount. In addition, I had to prepay for the meal. So, I paid for it and with my receipt in hand, I approached a man who sat people at their tables and made sure that the food was delivered.

To my surprise, this man refused to provide me with the food that I had paid for. I asked him why and he said something about it being a small amount. I told him that I thought it was actually expensive for what I had ordered. I also showed him my receipt that I had already paid for it. He said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

I started to get angry at that point. I had paid for the food. I had the receipt and there was no reason why I shouldn’t get the food that I had paid for. I explained to him that it shouldn’t matter what the price was. I should get what I had paid for. After refusing me again, I yelled, “I want to speak to your manager. Where is he?”

He said, “Oh, Mr. Fancy Pants is up there” and he pointed to a little booth, that looked like a balcony. It was a section of the restaurant where you could look out and see everything going on in the restaurant. As I looked up there, I saw an old fat bald guy with a cigar in his mouth. He looked mean and if there ever was even an ounce of compassion in that man, from the looks of it, it would have been drained out decades previously. He reminded me of a professional poker player who was both willing and ready to drain me of every last penny in my pockets. On top of that, he was in a meeting with 2 other men. It looked like a very important meeting; the kind that you would definitely not want to interrupt. It looked serious!

Despite the seemingly bleak prospects of getting through to this man and the poor timing, I marched myself up there and started shouting at him. Waiving my receipt in the air, I demanded the food that I had paid for. He looked at me with a look of disgust and a gruff voice, “Excuse me, can’t you see that I am in a meeting right now?” Again, I repeated the fact that I had paid for the food, but was being refused the food I had paid for. At this point, this old mean man started to ignore me. He pretended that I wasn’t even there and kept on speaking to these 2 men that he was in the meeting with.

As I started to get angrier about the situation, I decided to take things up a notch and I wiggled my way into the booth and squished myself right in between the 2 men he was talking to. Since those 2 men were sitting side by side, it was a little awkward because I was practically sitting on their laps. Staring straight into Mr. Fancy Pants eyes, I again demanded the food I had paid for.

It started to become obvious that I was starting to annoy everyone at the table. The 2 men whose laps I was sitting on did not seem to appreciate it very much, but since they were trying to appease the boss, they didn’t say much.

However, I could tell that I was starting to get through to Mr. Fancy Pants. He was starting to get flustered and angrier at my insistence and was no longer able to ignore me as I was pretty much in his face at that point.

Again, I demanded the food that I had paid for. When I mentioned the $40, he was shocked and appalled and said, “Forty Dollars? That’s nothing. Most people spend $150 when they come here.” As I was about to go into my well rehearsed line of “Well, it shouldn’t matter how much was paid, I should get what I paid for”, this old mean man gets up and storms out of the room.

I was left at the table with the 2 other men. At this point the original man who had refused me the food in the first place walked up to the table and said, “You know, you really upset Mr. Fancy Pants. He actually is not the real owner of this restaurant. He just runs it. The real owner hardly ever comes here, but out of all the days you picked to come in here and rant, you picked the day when he came. He is here now and that’s why you upset Mr Fancy Pants so much. The real Mr. Fancy Pants is up there”, as he pointed to a door at the top of some steps.

businessman walkingAt this point, I was getting furious, and without one bit of hesitation, I started marching up those steps, throwing the door open, determined to get to the bottom of this issue and yelling at the top of my lungs, “Hey Mr. Fancy Pants, I did not get served!”

At this point, the dream world leaked into this world and I woke myself up because of my shouting. While it was crystal clear in my dream that I was shouting the phrase, “Hey Mr. Fancy Pants, I did not get served,” my wife woke up and asked if I was okay and then I started to explain how I was really upset with Mr. Fancy Pants. She laughed…. Then I asked her what I was actually saying and it was something like, “Rahhhhhr, bluh, bluh”

At the point of waking up, I also immediately became aware of the meaning behind the dream. As the person who was not getting the value of the service I had paid for, I was able to feel and experience what it was like to be on the receiving end of the person who was “not receiving”.

I related it to my business and how apathy, procrastination & not being focused have gotten in the way of delivering the best value in a timely way to each of my clients. It doesn’t matter the amount that was paid nor whether my interest level in the project is great or small. I have a duty to provide that value that the client paid for in the best possible way and in a timely manner.

And then it hit me! I was the real Mr. Fancy Pants. I was the one that this message was for and my subconscious delivered it in a profound way that helped me to understand that “If I want to have greater financial freedom, I need to become better at managing and appreciating each and every project that I have been entrusted with, regardless of what I think about its importance.”

I sincerely hope that we each can look at what we have been given and then fulfill it in the way that is the best. There are always some tasks that we enjoy more than others. Learning to love the tasks that are the least loveable is a powerful way to become better prepared to take on the greater ones!


In the Science of Getting Rich, by Wallace Wattles, it states:

“YOU must use your thought as directed in previous chapters and begin to do what you can do where you are; and you must do ALL that you can do where you are.

You can advance only by being larger than your present place; and no man is larger than his present place who leaves undone any of the work pertaining to that place.

The world is advanced only by those who more than fill their present places.

If no man quite filled his present place, you can see that there must be a going backward in everything. Those who do not quite fill their present places are dead weight upon society, government, commerce, and industry; they must be carried along by others at a great expense. The progress of the world is retarded only by those who do not fill the places they are holding; they belong to a former age and a lower stage or plane of life, and their tendency is toward degeneration. No society could advance if every man was smaller than his place; social evolution is guided by the law of physical and mental evolution.

A Visit to Paradise: Isla Parida, Panama

This was one amazing trip, in more ways than one. It all started around the beginning of September when I started getting the urge to buy an island. While the idea of buying an island and my bank account balance did not at the time match up, I still thought it would be fun to explore the idea and see where it took me. So I looked online at islands for sale and I asked myself the question, “If I were to buy an island, where would it be?” and that led me to the islands of Panama. There are hundreds and there are many advantages to owning an island in Panama as opposed to other locations. Here are a few of the reasons:

1) Panama is great for foreign investment
2) Cost of Living is about half what it is in Costa Rica
3) No Hurricanes in Panama
4) Accessibility (Its relatively easy to get to)
5) Real Estate Prices are much lower

So I had narrowed it down to Panama. Then I started researching all of the islands in Panama that were for sale. Amongst those, there were about 7 that I thought would be great. These were ones that had fresh water, enough land to do something with, natural beauty, etc. One of the islands, Isla Parida, was listed on “” as only having about 25 acres and that seemed too small to me, but for some reason I kept it on my list anyway because there were so many things about it that seemed so perfect.

There were other islands that were only a few acres in size and others that were thousands of acres. Parida seemed perfect, except that it was too small. After doing some more searching, though, I found a property listing of real estate on Isla Parida that was 128.5 acres. That’s when I realized that there was a mistake in the other listing and that the true size of the Isla Parida was over 3000 acres and there were approximately 20 land owners.

One of the interesting things about this island is that it is located within a Nature Preserve of about 50 islands. Parida & one other island, Paridita, were the only ones where you were allowed to own property on them because there was proof of owners living on them from when Panama used to belong to Colombia and the rights of ownership carried over. However, there are still limitations as to how much building and development can be done on both islands. This means that both islands will remain in a pristine condition and this is one of the things that interested me.

Not only is it one of the most beautiful islands in the area, there are also plenty of kinds of tall hardwood trees, fresh water, mature fruit trees (mangos, bananas, coconuts, etc). The white sand beaches are awesome and the water temperature stays at around 82 degrees all year round. The dry season (the best time to go corresponds with our winter in North America). In addition, the fishing in the area is incredible and there are lots of fishing groups that go to the Gulf of Chiriqui to do big game fishing. In fact, this is one of the top places for that. There are tons of pictures of the sailfish, dolphin fish, tuna and other large fish that weigh hundreds of pounds. There are dolphins and whales. In fact, this is the place where the whales come to mate and care for their young. There is some really good whale watching at certain times of the year.

The other thing about this island that got me interested was that even though it was 12 miles offshore, it was still fairly accessible since the city of David in northern Panama is the second largest city in Panama with an international airport. From the airport, there is a 45-60 minute drive to the port at Boca Chica and then a 30-40 minute boat ride to the island. Far enough to be remote, but close enough to be accessible.

So, I decided to make contact with people on the island. Keep in mind that there are no roads and no infrastructure. People who live there either have generators to power their homes or they don’t have electricity. I found out that there were 2 fishing lodges on the island and I contacted both. Since I do internet marketing, I offered to promote their lodges as not only a place to go fishing, but also a place for Eco Tours, Health Retreats & Corporate Getaways. So, this evolved into having a business aspect to it as well as a long term plan to eventually have a second home or vacation property there as well.

Well my contacts were interested, but stressed the importance of coming and seeing the place first hand. So, I decided to go. I tried to get others to come, but most weren’t able to for one reason or another. Fortunately, one of my business contacts, Kyle Spencer, is an employee of JetBlue and could fly for free. So he and his wife decided to come with me as far as Costa Rica.

Catching Flights & Buses

My friend Kyle had access to some buddy passes on Jet Blue and Jet Blue goes to San Jose, Costa Rica, which is one way to connect to David, Panama as opposed to flying directly to Panama City. The good thing about the buddy pass was the reduction in flight costs. The bad thing about it is the logistics. With a buddy pass, you don’t have a flight plan you can count on. You have to go when there are available seats. As an employee of JetBlue, Kyle was able to look up the schedule and figure out how likely it was that we were going to make a certain flight or not, but when it came down to it, nothing was ever set in stone.

In addition, we had to make some connecting flights. For example, we would need to catch a red eye flight from Salt Lake City to New York (JFK), then to Orlando, and then to San Jose, Costa Rica. Each of those connecting flights also needed to have availability. I had committed and reserved the fishing lodge for the morning of the 18th. So if one of those flights was delayed or there wasn’t availability on one of them, then it was possible that I would have missed arriving at the port in Panama to get picked up on the 18th. The plan was to catch the red eye on the 15th and with the connecting flights, we’d arrive in San Jose on the 16th. Then on the 17th in the morning, I was going to catch an early morning bus from San Jose, Costa Rica to David, Panama. (an 8-10 hour bus ride… I thought it would be a fun way to see a lot of Costa Rica and the bus ride only cost $15).

So we checked the flights and it looked like there was enough availability that we would make all of them, but it was a bit nerve wracking because even missing one of the flights would make it so I’d miss getting to the island. We even considered driving to Las Vegas and catching a flight to NYC from there. As it turned out, we opted to try one day sooner and catch the red eye flight from SLC to NYC (only 1 flight a day out of SLC). The problem with doing that was that there was less availability. In fact, it was so close that there were only 3 seats available and there were 3 of us, me, Kyle & Kyle’s wife, Lindsay. The chances that all of us would make it were slim, but we tried anyway.

Fortunately, we all 3 got on and they were the last 3 seats. And it was a long night. I don’t sleep unless I’m laying down, its dark & also quiet and I didn’t have any of those going for me. We arrived in NYC and had about an hour before the next flight to Orlando. Again, we lucked out and got on the flight. A few hours later, we had arrived in Orlando. An hour later, we were on the flight to San Jose.

Well, we made all the flights we needed to and that was going to put us in Costa Rica on the 15th, a day earlier than expected. So we were doing good. However, there was a problem with the airplane after we got on the flight from Orlando to San Jose. After 40 minutes in the air, the pilot announced that the water pressure on the plane was not working and that it was not an acceptable situation to fly without having it working, so we had to turn around and land in Ft Lauderdale to switch planes, but before that he had to fly in a circle for an hour or so to drop fuel since there was some rule that said he couldn’t land with the amount of fuel that he had. After we landed in Ft. Lauderdale, they had to fill out a bunch of paperwork and check the plane. It turned out that it was an easy fix and we stayed in the same plane. But it delayed everything about 4-5 hours… but it was a good thing because it was the last flight of the trip there so we were still able to make all the connections going standby.

Costa Rica

Since our flight had been delayed by about 4-5 hours, we ended up getting to San Jose sometime around 5 pm instead of 1-2pm, but it didn’t matter since we didn’t have any specific plans. We got a rental car and then drove around looking for a place to stay and eat.

The temperature in San Jose was nice. It felt like San Diego to me. There was a cool breeze and there was a slight smell of ocean. The roads were good. It did have that latin American feel to it, but for the most part, it was a really great place to be. I was so tired that I mostly wanted to sleep. But we ended up finding a really nice place called Hotel Plaza Real. They had a suite with 2 bedrooms and all of us were able to share that spot for the 2 nights I was in Costa Rica. I was really glad we arrived a day early. It gave me a chance to get some restful sleep and also catch up on some work that I hadn’t finished from before. The next day, we went to pick up my tickets at the bus station, relaxed and also strolled around the downtown area. We checked out shops, ate at a vegetarian restaurant and talked with a lot of interesting people. It was a lot of fun.

In Costa Rica, they use “Colones” and we had to figure out how the currency exchange worked, because there was such a big difference between the value of a 1 dollar and the value of 1 colon. It was like 1000 colones was close to the value of 1 US dollar (roughly). I know that’s not exact, but it made more sense to me to think of it in that way. But you could also pay in US dollars from local establishments and get change in Colones, which was interesting to me.

The next morning was my scheduled bus ride. I was really excited about this because it was a way to see a lot of the countryside and it was so cheap to travel that distance. It was a long ride, but I was amazed with the natural beauty along the way. We drove along stretches where we saw beaches, mountains, jungle areas and resort destinations. We even saw a bunch of alligators in a river as we passed by. We eventually reached half way and stopped at a fancy rest stop that had a cafeteria with lots of food. This seemed like the place where all the buses stopped, so there were lots of people there needing to use the restrooms and wanting to eat. The food was pretty good. I ordered the amazing fruit juice called Bora, that I had tasted the day before. It seemed like every place we went to eat had amazing fruit juices and Bora and Cas were some of the ones that were typical in Costa Rica (I hadn’t even heard of those fruits before and they were delicious!)

After another hour or two, we came to the border crossing.

The Border of Costa Rica & Panama

I had heard that the border crossing was miserable and for sure it was! It was really hot there. We were all sweating in the shade. But that wasn’t the miserable part. Basically, we had to all get off the bus and wait in a bunch of lines for hours, fill out paperwork, have our bags checked and instead of being an orderly movement of people from one place to another, it was chaotic at best. I knew it wouldn’t be pleasant, but the travel through the countryside was still worth it. Definitely not something you’d do all the time, but for a one time experience, the border experience was something that I could live with.

Well, we got off the bus, waited in a line to “Exit” Costa Rica. That one wasn’t that bad. I waited probably 20-30 minutes, gave them my paperwork and thought, “well, that wasn’t so bad”, but then we had to walk the distance of a few blocks through this area that apparently didn’t belong to Costa Rica nor Panama. We got to this other sign that said Welcome to Panama and there were some really huge lines that wrapped around in a non-organized way under the covered area and right next to the road where cars & buses were parked. The cars and buses that were parked there were not moving. Some of the buses were running though and exhaust was going in the direction of the people in line who were literally standing right next to it at a few points.

It seemed like there was only 1 person handling the whole line. Maybe there were more, but it went so slow and I think we were one of the last buses coming in. So we waited and waited. 2 hours later, we had gotten our passports stamped to “Enter” Panama. I was thinking “oh what a relief”, we’re done… but lo and behold, there was more. The people from my bus started congregating around this door that went inside the building and I asked what was going on and apparently it was our groups turn to go inside and to have our bags checked. But I didn’t have my bags with me, but then I looked over and saw that our bus had pulled up along side where the lines were and had opened up the cargo area for everyone to grab their bags. So I grabbed mine, but I had left my laptop on the inside of the bus near my seat. So I asked this guy who seemed to know what was going on if we needed to have all our bags with us because I had left my laptop on the inside of the bus. He said, “You did what?” and he got me motivated enough to go find the bus driver, open up the bus and go check to make sure that my laptop was still there. Fortunately, I found the bus driver and he opened the main part of the bus and the laptop was there and everything was fine.

Well, finally our group got to go into the little room. We had to wait till everyone arrived and there were 2 old ladies there who started calling out our names. Unfortunately, there was a family of 4 that was not allowed to enter Panama because their passports expired in only 5 days and they needed to have at least 6 months. So they were sent back. After the roll call, they then had us put all of our luggage on tables and they inspected it, but to be quite honest, it wasn’t that thorough and I think if someone had wanted to smuggle something, they could have. The whole thing was a disorganized mess, but we got through it. During that time while we were in line waiting, it started to rain and it rained hard. Its not the type of rain I’m used to in Utah, which is more like a drizzle compared to the pounding bullet sized drops that pounded the covering we were under. It only lasted 30 minutes or so.

Well, after getting through the border, we drove another hour or so and finally arrived at the city of David, Panama.

David, Panama

I had heard that there was a hotel called the Hotel Madrid that was nice and wasn’t that expensive and was only a few blocks from the bus station. I thought I’d try it out, so I just walked over to it. It was pretty close and they had rooms. It only cost $35 for 1 night. (Everything in Panama is so much cheaper and they also accept US dollars)

The hotel room was kind of small and the bathroom area smaller. The room had a slight odor of something, but I don’t know what it was and it wasn’t that bad. I turned on the air conditioner and got things cooled down. I ate dinner at the restaurant in the hotel and then did work stuff on the internet till 1 or 2 in the morning. I did speak with Eric, one of the 2 lodge owners and he had a real estate guy named Grayson Banner contact me about visiting some other properties for sale in the area. Both he and Grayson lived in the David area and they wanted to stop by the hotel for an early morning breakfast before I went to the island. So, they were going to come at 8 am. (Note: Panama is 2 hours ahead of my normal time zone and I had gone to bed late, had a long day on that bus ride and border crossing experience and I was exhausted. I had the hotel staff give me a wake up call at 7:30. I figured that would be enough time).

Well, I got the call at 7:30am and was so looking forward to that shower. But 1 minute later after we hung up, the guy at the front desk called again saying that people had arrived for me and were waiting in the restaurant below. What?! I had planned on 8am and I wasn’t even dressed or showered. Well, I didn’t know what was going on, but I hurried and put on my clothes, combed my hair the best I could and got down there within a few minutes. I walked into the restaurant and saw a guy that looked like he could be Grayson along with a Panamanian woman, but I didn’t see Eric.

Well I introduced myself to Grayson and he said he just wanted to let me know that he was there and that Eric would still be coming at 8am. Well, I was still half asleep, but thought I should get started on breakfast anyway. Eric showed up later and we had a talk about islands and money. Basically, you’ve got to have lots of money if you’re going to invest in an island. Grayson and Eric are both Americans who have lived in Panama a long time. Grayson seems to be a great realtor and very knowledgeable. Eric is a developer who got a really good deal on the ~500 acres he owns and he has built a really nice lodge from scratch. Once our meeting was over, I realized that I needed to get going so I could make it to the Boca Chica port by 11:00 am.

I found an ATM nearby, got some extra cash and flagged down a taxi driver. $35 for a 45 minute ride to the port. I could have taken a bus half way and then another bus the rest of the way, but the buses didn’t go there all the time and I probably wouldn’t have made it in time. Well, the taxis were all over the place and I got someone pretty quickly.

The scenery along the way was beautiful. Rolling hills, beautiful fields, mountains. The northern area of Panama produces the majority of the food in Panama and it was obvious from the fields of crops that we passed. Beautiful colored houses along the way, it was a nice ride.

I asked the taxi driver if he knew how to get to the port after we got to Boca Chica, but as soon as we had arrived, I realized that that was a silly question because the road turned into a narrow little cement road that went right through the middle of town, small houses on both sides and the end of the road was the port. There at the end were some boats right next to the edge of the water. So we pulled up and I found Shane there already there with his boat, ready to go.

Isla Parida

Shane Jarvis is the boat captain and he was just dropping off a group at the port and picking me up. I had hoped to have others with me for the island trip, but it was just me. Nancy Reagan, one of the owners of the lodge who is married to Shane’s father and who also lives in Florida, showed up as well a few minutes later. The 3 of us then headed out to Isla Parida.

We passed lots of little islands along the way. They showed me a hotel that was built up on the edge of an island high up in some cliff areas. It was nice to be on a boat and headed to the island.

It really wasn’t that long a boat ride. It seemed fast. There was lots to see along the way. We even passed Isla Palenque, where a really nice resort was being built. A while later, up ahead there was Isla Parida. As we approached, I could see the beauty of the palm trees along the beach. I could tell it was amazing!

We anchored the boat in the bay and one of the crew members (Bernabe) came out with a little motor boat and grabbed our luggage and took us to the beach. I stood on the beach and let it kind of all sink in that I had finally arrived. It was amazing. A nice fresh cool ocean breeze, a beautiful beach and the thing I noticed the most was the “peace and quiet”… and it was great. There was a little cabana type covered area that was right on the beach that was pretty neat. It seemed like the perfect place to serve drinks and food for parties.

We then walked up the hill and passed a nice little wooden cabin type house, which I found out belonged to another property owner, named Justin. Beyond that and practically next door, was the lodge of Propiedad de Paradise, which is Shane’s lodge and the one I stayed at for 2 nights.

The lodge was simple, yet beautiful. There was a guest house that was separate from the main house. There were bunk beds in each of the rooms. I think it is probably more customary in Panama to utilize the space better and have more people in each room. There was room for 8, 4 in each room. There was an outdoor shower, that was still private and enclosed and the interior cabinetry was nice and looked great. Sitting out on the porch, there was a great view of the ocean and the islands in the distance.

Shane gave me a little tour of his property and showed me how he had his generators set up. It seemed like a lot of work and a lot of expense to power up the house with fuel from the generator that then continually kept these powerful batteries charged. A big thing for them is making sure that every time they come to the island, that they bring everything they need because if they forget something, then its $100 in gas to take the boat back to the mainland. So they’ve got to have all the food they need, spare parts in case something breaks down, etc. We had a wonderful cook, named Liz, who prepared amazing meals while we were there. We ate lots of fish, had Conch, fruit, sipped on coconuts and pretty much had a relaxing time.

Bernabe and Steve were some of the guides and crew who were there as well. Bernabe got his machete and he took me on a little jungle hike that first day where we saw tree branches with some very sharp spikes sticking out. We also saw some really fast crabs that would start scurrying about along the beach. I tried to chase them but they were too fast for me. We saw these little shell like structures that attached themselves to rocks along the beach. Bernabe used his machete to detach some of them to see the interesting little creatures that were inside.

After getting back from that hike though, I wanted so bad to go down and swim in the water… so I did. It was like heaven! If I could have picked a perfect temperature, that was not too hot and not too cold, that would be it. I just laid there and soaked in the water. In the lower layers of the water, there were some little undercurrents of cooler water would also feel so refreshing. After my long trip just getting there, it did feel like I had arrived in paradise.

I didn’t want to stay out there too long. The sun was pretty strong and I remembered my awful sunburn that I got when I went to Hawaii. So I made sure I brought some of my “Mercola Recommended” Healthy Sunscreen and I didn’t really get burnt.

After a nice shower, we had dinner and then I did some work on my computer. Oh by the way, we had high speed internet out there. Shane had invested in a special cable antennae that connects with the mainland and it seemed to work just great.

There was a large window in my room, so after a restful night, I awoke to the sunrise coming up over the ocean along with birds chirping and the sound of the waves hitting the shore. Even though my group was just me, Nancy, Shane and their crew still made sure I was satisfied and having a great time. After breakfast, I asked about going snorkeling and seeing Isla Gamez. Steve offered to take me in the little raft/motor boat and it was amazing!

It didn’t take that long, but the handle of the motor broke off from the rope when we tried to start the engine. After Steve fixed that, we took the little boat first to Isla Gamez, which is somewhat famous for tourists and others to go to on the weekends because it has some nice beaches, but its actually pretty small, perhaps a couple acres in size. When we arrived, we walked across to the other beach on the backside and then snorkeled on the back side where there were more rocks.

While we were snorkeling, this little tiny yellowish/orange fish with tiger stripes swam in front of my goggles the whole time. He was the size of a minnow. I couldn’t figure out why this little guy stayed in front of my eyes and literally, the whole time I was snorkeling. Steve said they are called “Seargent Majors” and he was using me for protection so they wouldn’t get eaten by the other fish. I kept trying to grab him but he was too fast and would move out of the way and then he’d keep coming back. As we snorkeled back to the beach, he had gathered his friends and family and now there were 5 total for a while, then 6… and they followed me all the way back as well.

We then took the boat over to Eric’s lodge, which was very nice. Eric was there and took me on a tour of his place & property. He had a few guests there that were sitting in the shade. We then rode the little boat up to where he has his bar and little cabins. They are kind of far from his main lodge and very rustic. The wood has spaces in between and no air conditioning. It would not have been that good to stay there by myself without a mosquito net and an air conditioner. Although Eric does have a guy that stays there to sell beer when people pass by. His lodge would have been great to stay at though and its on a great location on a little tiny peninsula that juts out so he’s got a beach at the front side of it and the back.

I then did a 30-45 min. hike through the jungle with Nancy & Bernabe (another one of their workers). I met a Panamanian family that lives full time on the island and saw the huts they live in. They are called the lobster guys because they are really good at finding lobsters and then they sell them to other island residents. The 71 year old grandfather, named Julio Bernal, has lived there his whole life and I asked him if he ever thought of moving or got tired of it and the answer was no. He still loves it after all that time.

There are mango trees all over and I walked through a bunch of banana trees, a sugar cane field, ate a fruit called piro that grows all over the jungle. It was delicious. I witnessed a fight between a dog & an iguana (got it on video too). The dog was winning, but the iguana got saved by our guide. The crabs were pretty cool too. There was one very colorful one that was dead that is in the picture to the side.

The seashells are amazing and I collected a bunch to bring home to my family. But I had a lot of fun just soaking in the water on the beach. It was so calm and peaceful. I love swimming, but hate the chlorine, so just floating in the warm water on those beautiful white sand beaches with no one around was amazing. It would be the perfect place to do my swimming as an exercise (without having to worry about the chlorine of the public pools).

I’m so glad I stayed 2 days instead of 1. The jungle hike, meeting the Panamanian family & the snorkeling, boat ride in the raft boat made it all worth it. Shane & Nancy are really great people. They are professional and they treat their guests well. They provide a high level of service and they are people you can depend on. They had a whole crew there just for me and they had a cook who prepared delicious meals and appetizers, Shane & 2 guys for maintenance, guide stuff, etc. Nancy was only there visiting from Florida and is not there full time.

Island Shopping

On Sunday morning, we left about 9:30 am and got to back to Boca Chica port where Grayson & his Panamanian wife were waiting for me. Eric had told me and Grayson he was going to call to schedule the boat, but he didn’t. So we went up and asked Elvis (the name of the Panamanian boat driver) if Eric had called and he said no. Fortunately, Elvis was available and he was easy to find since the Boat Taxi thing is his business.

So, we just told Elvis what we wanted to do and he agreed. We were going to drive a boat in one direction to see some islands, but then also drive it in the other direction to see the others. It was $100 to go the one way, but $100 more if we drove in the other. So we just left and I told him I would tell him later whether I wanted to do the second half. It was kind of neat riding in his boat taxi. Thank goodness it had a cover. I had gotten a little sunburnt from earlier and it would have been bad.

But the breeze was nice. We did not get out on the islands. We only circled them, but it was still fun. We saw a bunch of islands that would have been neat to explore. We saw Isla San Jose, Iglesia Mayor, Isla Mona, etc.

On the way back, a bunch of wind started coming in and the waves got bigger. It was a little scary, but not too bad. The part that was irritating and unpleasant is that the salt water was being sprayed in my face and body for about 20-30 minutes straight. I was drenched. Not a dry part on my body. I couldn’t wipe the salt out of my eyes because it just kept coming. Grayson got some too and his wife & the boat driver didn’t seem to get it much. I’m so glad I left my luggage in Grayson’s car.

Anyway, I had enough and opted to come back to the port after the first half. It helped me realize the importance of having an experienced captain for when the winds pick up and waves are hitting you, but also having someone who knows what to do if the engine goes out or something.

I told Grayson I was going to come back to David and he gave me a ride. There was really no way I could go back to the island and get dropped off at Eric’s cabins with no certainty that I would have a way back and you can’t just walk on a jungle trail at night. It would be too dangerous. I saw these branches that had these porcupine like spines coming out. I actually got poked with one a little and it hurt quite a bit for a whole day. I also had bug bites all over my legs that were kind of painful and when I went snorkeling, it gave me blisters on the backs of my heels from the fins.

Back in David, Panama

By the time we had arrived back in David, I wasn’t feeling that great. I was still wet, hungry and was starting to feel more of the effects of the bug bites & blisters. Shane had recommended a great hotel called the Hotel Castilla and that is where I stayed. It was much nicer than the Hotel Madrid I was at the Friday night before. I arrived about 45 minutes before check in, so I just ate at the restaurant in my damp clothes and then checked in, took a shower and relaxed.

However, the relaxing didn’t last long because the itching from the bites was kind of bad. When I had shoes and pants on, the irritation against them made walking difficult. I could barely walk down the steps from the 2nd to the 1st floor. I had brought my cayenne and aloe vera and that evening proceeded to put it on every bite I had and there were a lot. Even though cayenne pepper burned, I have used it for other things and it helps. It did give me quite a bit of relief and I was able to sleep well that night.

The next morning I was hopeful that the pain would have subsided and it was actually just fine when I walked around barefoot in shorts. But when I went to breakfast downstairs, I realized I needed to do something else because I had a scheduled 4 mile hike in Boquete that afternoon. How in the world was I going to be able to do that? I was pretty sure I was going to have to cancel it, but I still had to get a bus/taxi and get there.

Anyway, I asked the hotel receptionist about stores in the area and since I was downtown, there were a bunch of options. The receptionist told me of a pharmacy that was right across the street. In pain, I hobbled out the door of the hotel and crossed the street. I found the pharmacy and showed the lady my bites and asked her if she had anything for them. She said she did. She showed me 2 different creams. I asked which one was more natural and that was the one I got. I hobbled back to the hotel across the street and proceeded to apply the cream to each of my bites. (Keep in mind that when you have over 100 bites, it takes a long time)

The pain did start to subside after an hour or so and by that time, I was about an hour late on my schedule. I should have been on the bus by then. So I hurried and got out of there, caught a taxi to the bus station and got on the bus. As I was waiting on the bus, I realized that I might not make it in time to get to Boquete by 1:00. Sure enough, I asked the bus driver, who told me that the bus wouldn’t get there till 1:30pm. I wouldn’t make it. However, I knew a taxi would. The difference in cost was $2 or so on the bus versus $35 for the taxi ride. But the bus took twice as long. So I got off the bus, caught a taxi and got there with about 15 minutes to spare. This whole time I am debating in my mind whether I should still do the hike. It felt a little better to walk, but I could still feel the irritation.


Anyway, I showed up at the Explora Ya office for the White Rock Hike Tour at about 5 minutes to 1:00. They wanted me there at 1 to fill out paper work, but the tour actually left at 1:30. I hadn’t eaten yet, nor checked in to the hotel and plus I was still wondering if I could handle the hike, which was 2 miles each way. The lady said to go ahead & get checked in and eat and we could do the paperwork after.

So I walked (with all of my luggage) from that office to the hotel Refugio del Rio, where I was to stay. It was probably about 4-6 blocks away. I was able to check in quickly and dropped off my stuff, which was a bit of a concern to me, because this place was a hostel and I was staying in a big dorm room type setup with lots of other people. So I was a little nervous leaving my stuff there and I was praying it would be there when I got back, but wasn’t sure where else to leave it. I found a cafeteria type restaurant on the way back, got some food, ate really fast and then walked back to the office, getting there about 1:31. I actually brought the rest of the food with me. The van that was taking us was about ready to leave. They told me they were about to leave without me.

By this time, I had pretty much decided I was going to go on the hike anyway. The bites didn’t hurt like they did before, but it wasn’t completely gone. Probably just enough to make me think I could still do it. So we drove for about 1/2 hour (and with enough time to finish my lunch on the van) and arrived at a very beautiful place.

I have to say that Boquete has amazing beauty. It is one of the top 10 places to retire to in the world and the climate was a little cooler than David, but it doesn’t snow there. There is lots of farmland, rolling hills, mountains and wonderful jungle type areas.

White Rock Hike

So we started off on our hike that would end at a waterfall. The foliage, the trees and the atmosphere were all amazing. There were 3 others and a guide with us on this tour. It was fun. I kept wondering what it was going to be like to have these guys carry me out of there if the pain got too bad on my feet and legs. But somehow, I was able to make it and it wasn’t too bad. We saw birds, beautiful plants, some very large trees. We even came to a tree that had some swinging vines and I got a video of me being Tarzan on the vines. (I had always wanted to do that).

It was a fun experience and I’m glad I was able to make the hike.

Hotel Refugio del Rio

I finally arrived back at the hotel and met some of the other people who stayed there. It turned out that the owners of the hostel were having a barbeque. (Keep in mind that this experience was like staying in a big house with a bunch of strangers. I probably wouldn’t repeat it, but if I did, I’d definitely have my own room). Anyway, the owners brought the meat and others were supposed to bring whatever they wanted and share it. Kind of like an informal potluck. So the next thing I knew, I was walking to the grocery store with 3 other strangers. 2 Dutch & 1 German and we were going shopping together (after only meeting that afternoon). So we walked down to the grocery store, bought some stuff for salad and then came back and tried to prepare it in the kitchen where there were probably 10 other people trying to use the kitchen at the same time. Maybe some seasoned travelers are used to doing that sort of thing, but it was a little strange for me. Anyway, we all ate and had a good meal.

Then that night, I had the ‘privilege’ of sleeping in a room with about 10 other people. Now, that was very strange for me. There were guys and girls and everyone was decent, but there wasn’t really a place to put your things. You had to kind of stuff them under or around your bed somewhere. Then there was smell of dirty laundry (my own and others) and you didn’t have your own bathroom. You basically had to take turns to use it or shower. I only showered once while I was there and it was ice cold. There were too many people in that house.

The other thing about sleeping in a room full of people is worrying about turning the lights on when others were sleeping and if you had to leave early. The next morning I had a zipline trek planned and I had to get up early and find my stuff in the dark. There were other things that weren’t that great, like the sounds that people make at night. The older English lady (who might have been missing a tooth) and who slept in the bed closest to mine warned me that if she started to snore, to just hit her or something. Well, I kept thinking “What have I got myself in to?” So my sleep at night wasn’t as peaceful and I did hear some snoring and one guy yelled out in his sleep followed by an enormously loud toot! No one made a sound, but I was having extreme difficulty in not bursting out with laughter. Thankfully I was able to keep it in and get ‘some’ sleep. (Just so you know, the cost was only $12/night at this place. It looked nice and I thought it would be fine for 2 nights. Well the next time, I think I’ll splurge for the nice $40 place where I can have my own room).

Boquete Zip Line Tour

The following morning, I awoke early, got my stuff in the dark and walked over to the office where we met for the Boquete Tree Trek (the Zipline Tour). We got on the back of a truck and we drove about 30 minutes or so up to this place that was probably one of the most beautiful places I have been. It was higher up in the mountains, it was cooler and it was just beautiful. They had a little lodge up there called the Crystal River Lodge with these little cabin type houses for guests to stay overnight.

We then had our little training about the zipline course, got our gear on and then took another truck to a place much higher in elevation. It was actually starting to get a little bit cold, but a light jacket was sufficient. After getting off the truck, we walked a little ways and arrived at the first station. There were about 5-6 guides that came and in our group there were a couple families and there were about 7 or 8 kids total, so with kids, they don’t go by themselves. They get strapped on to the instructors and go with them. So a few of the instructors had 2 kids strapped on to them as they sailed across the beautiful jungle canopy.

When we arrived at the first station, though, it was a bit of a shock. The reason was the height. Imagine being at the height of a skyscraper and there was a cable that went to another skyscraper. Let’s just say that it gets the adrenaline flowing. All kinds of thoughts rush through your mind. Will this cable hold me? What if I get stuck half way? Anyway, besides all of that, it was an amazing adventure. They have cables that crossed over to the other side of the canyon to another really tall tree that was high up. So as you crossed, you looked below and saw the river below cutting through the canyon. There were 14 stations and 12 cables that you went over. One of the guides would be positioned at each station and then 2 different times, we had to all wait at one station while all of the guides caught up and then moved forward to the other stations. The whole thing was professional from start to finish. After the first two times, it was less scary and it was easier to relax and just enjoy the amazing beauty as you zipped through the air across the top of the jungle canopy. Such an amazing experience!

After we got back, I ate lunch at the lodge while we waited for our ride back to Boquete. What a beautiful and amazing place.

Caldera Hot Springs, Swimming in a River & A Monkey

We got back to Boquete and I had about 45 minutes till the next Hiking Tour was about to depart. I checked in at the Explora Ya office and they said that they hadn’t gotten anyone else to go on that tour, so they were going to cancel it. Well I had overheard the family with all the kids talking about going on a horseriding tour that afternoon and so I asked the lady about that. She said that they didn’t have one going, but another tour group might have one. She took me across the street to a different company and sure enough, they had a horseback riding tour scheduled that afternoon. I thought that sounded fun, but then the other receptionist said that they also had another tour going to Caldera Hot Springs. So I had a choice and the price was about the same. I thought to myself, “Do I want to relax in the Hot Springs or ride a horse” and I realized that after the zipline, relaxing in the water was going to probably be more enjoyable. But I also wondered about the irritation on my bites when I bounced up and down on a horse.

So I went on the Hot Springs Tour. We drove in the back of a jeep for about an hour. Towards the end, we drove over rough dirt roads and in one place, we drove over some rocks that we should not have gone over. One of the tires slipped slightly on one of the rocks and I thought the jeep was going to tip over. Well, we hiked a little ways and the tour guide met up with the property owner, who was on a horse, paid some money and we were all allowed to go to the small little pools of water that were steaming hot. It did feel quite good to sit in them and it was relaxing. However, the property owner also had a monkey that hung out at his place. So we were all hopeful that we would be able to see the monkey up close.

The tour guides were going to take us to the river after the hot springs, and as we were hiking out, we saw the monkey up in a tree and we wondered if we’d be able to coax the monkey down so we could see it up close. Fortunately I remembered that I had some bland tasting crackers that I had gotten from the grocery store the day before. I opened a packet of them and gave some to the members of the tour group. One girl approached the monkey with a cracker. The monkey came down and reached out as the girl handed the monkey the cracker. The monkey then climbed the tree and sat on a branch eating the cracker (I got all of this on video).

I was trying to open up another packet of crackers so we could get the monkey to come down again. All of a sudden and with lightning speed, the monkey swung down to the ground, ran over to ‘my’ backpack and grabbed a complete packet of crackers (still in the wrapper) that was sitting next to my backpack. I had forgotten I had left a packet right there anyway.

It was the funniest thing and everyone was amazed at how smart the monkey was for going after the full packet of crackers, but also even noticing them. The monkey proceeded to climb the tree and went way up high with the packet of crackers. The property owner who was on the horse started yelling at the monkey to give those crackers back. Someone said that the property owner threatened the monkey with a whipping if he didn’t drop the crackers. The monkey obediently dropped the crackers and I got them back.

The tour guides decided that instead of going to the river near where we were (which was kind of rocky), that we should go to another place that had a nice beach. So we drove to that spot. It was out of the way, but it was well worth it. The beach next to the river was beautiful and it was a perfect place for swimming. The water was kind of cool, but it felt really refreshing after having been in the hot springs. It was the perfect ending to a wonderful trip.

The Way Back

We made our way back to Boquete and I stayed the last night at Refugio del Rio. Early in the morning, I got up and caught a taxi to take me directly to the airport in David. I didn’t want to miss the flight and the taxi ride was a lot more direct and enjoyable without all the stops that a bus makes.

After getting to the airport, I picked up a few more souvenirs for my family and waited for my flight. However, it turns out that the flight from David to San Jose was delayed almost 1 hour. And that made things difficult because I had to catch connecting flights from San Jose to Orlando to New York and then to Las Vegas (more about that later).

The good thing about the delay is that the people at the airport said that we were getting a plane that would get to San Jose in 1/2 hour instead of 1 hour, so it really was only about a half hour delay. Well, I figured I would still be okay, since I had a 2 hour wait in San Jose.

When I arrived at the San Jose airport, I was back on the buddy pass system and I would only be able to make those flights as long as there was availability. But Kyle had still checked ahead of time and thought that everything looked good for me to make it back with the exception of NYC to SLC. That one was completely booked so he had to route me through Las Vegas and I’d have to find my way to Utah from there.

So, when I arrived in San Jose, I didn’t think there would be any problem. But when I tried to go through customs, they wouldn’t let me. They said they couldn’t let anyone in the country who wasn’t going to be there for at least 6 hours. So I told them that I had a checked on bag that I needed to pick up at the Air Panama Terminal. They told me that I had to go up to the place where you wait for connecting flights. They asked to see my ticket and all I had was the buddy pass thing so that kind of complicated things. But I told them the flight I was trying to get on (and there was only 1 Jet Blue flight a day), so it was important that I make that flight. So I went up to the other security area and the security guy there said, “No you have to go back down to the place you were at to get your luggage”. And then I said, “Well I just came from there and they wouldn’t let me through”. So the guy walked back down to the customs area again with me and I tried to go through again. But customs wouldn’t budge. They said that Jet Blue was responsible for getting my luggage from Air Panama to Jet Blue. However, I didn’t have a ticket. I was going on a buddy pass. The people from Jet Blue agreed to help though so they got it worked out and got some agent down to the baggage claim area to pick up my suitcase and then transfer it to the right airline and this was with about an hour before the flight left. Fortunately they also had space on that flight and they got me checked in.

The flight from San Jose to Orlando was fine. I think it only took 2 1/2 to 3 hours total. We got to Orlando, went through customs there and then I proceeded to the terminal where the flight to NYC was to be. Well, there was a problem. The flight was completely booked. I called Kyle and he confirmed that I probably wasn’t going to make that flight. I found out that the next flight left at 6 am in the morning and that meant I was staying overnight in Orlando. I was thinking about sleeping in the airport because I’d have to get up so early, but I finally opted for the hotel option.

I was given a phone number for hotels close by that had some good discounts. I called one and they had a shuttle service and by the time I finally made it to the hotel, it was around 10:30 or so at night. I met the Pakistani owner who was kind of interesting. He asked me if I was from America and when I said yes, he asked why I was so nice. He apparently was able to figure me out in those couple minutes while I stood there at the counter and was surprised at how nice I was. He said “Its as if you were just born!” I was laughing on the inside. I was flattered at his words, but I really don’t know what I had said or done to make him think that. If he only knew what I had gone through that day and earlier that week ☺

Well, I did need a wake up call since my flight left at 6 am. There was a shuttle that left at 5 or one that left at 4. Leaving at 5 was cutting it too close and leaving at 4 was too early, but I figured it was better to be early than late. So I decided to have the wake up call at 3:45, giving me 15 minutes to wake up, pack up and get downstairs. (Also, 3:45am is really like 1:45 am in my time zone). Well, I went down to my room and found that there were bags and stuff in it already. I had been given a room that was already occupied. Fortunately, no one was in it. I went and told the same guy at the front desk and he assigned me to another room. While I was in my room, I wondered if he had changed my wake up call to the new room number. I thought I better check. I called and asked and he said, “Oh, yes, that is correct. I will make that adjustment.” Good thing I checked. I had also set my cell phone alarm, but apparently that was on vibrate and I wouldn’t have woken up from that, but I did get the wake up call from the hotel.

I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare, so I just waited at my gate. And I waited, but no one came to the gate. Usually there are people that show up 1 hour before and the other gate close by had people there at 5:00. So it finally got to 5:30 and I knew something was up. I went to the other gate and they looked it up and saw that the gate had changed for my flight. I got the new gate number and it was kind of far away. I had to run through the airport with my 2 bags so I would make that flight. That flight had 70 available seats, but I almost missed it because everyone had already boarded by the time I got there.

The flight from Orlando to NYC was fine and then I had a 1 hour wait for the next flight Las Vegas. I still was trying to figure out how I would get from Las Vegas to my home in Utah. Fortunately I also made the flight from NYC to Las Vegas. Finally after a long flight, I arrived in Vegas. I called my wife and she had looked up some stuff online for other flights, shuttles, buses and rental cars. Everything was outrageous and my flight arrived too late for a shuttle that went all the way to Orem. In addition, when I checked Southwest & Delta flights to SLC, they were either overbooked, super expensive and to top it off, there was an ice storm that delayed flights at the SLC airport. There were accidents all over northern Utah because of the ice. One plane even slid on the tarmac and I believe that was a first for the SLC airport. My wife Shelly was going to drive to St. George, but her mom convinced her that it wasn’t a good idea because of the weather.

I opted for a shuttle that took me to St. George even though it wouldn’t get me all the way to Orem. On the ride up to St. George, I was able to call the various rental car companies and found one that allowed for a one way drop off.

So the guys at the shuttle office in St. George had a taxi guy who took me out to the St. George airport where the Hertz car rental place was located. I got a good deal on a car, got some dinner and then started driving north. I was super tired. It had been a real long day and I started noticing myself dozing off. I somehow made it to Fillmore, but it was about 11pm and I pulled over and wasn’t sure if I should try to keep going or get a hotel. I also had some more work I had to finish up by the next morning. I called my wife and she helped me to see the need to get a hotel. It was a good idea. I looked towards the other side of the gas station parking lot where I was and there was a hotel right there. I finished up that bit of work and then got a good nights sleep. The next morning I got up refreshed and drove the rest of the way. I had made it home!

Even though there were parts of the trip that I definitely wouldn’t repeat, it was still incredible in so many ways. The memories are priceless. The people were wonderful. The food was great and the adventures were amazing. Just the feeling I got from pulling this off (even the travel logistics) was worth it. I had accomplished a goal I had set to visit the island and had done it. The trip was too amazing not to record.

My hope is to still set up a website to promote Eco Tours & Health Retreats on Isla Parida and do some business with the great people I met on the island. Along the way, I hope to be able to purchase property on the island and have a second home there at some point. It would be a great place to have family reunions and other gatherings or even set up a little community.

If you’ve gotten this far and you’re interested in seeing the full set of pictures on the trip, click the following link:

Transforming Our Fear Into Love

During my meditation today, I had an amazing experience. I have been working on understanding and developing deeper levels of love within my being. I have often read about how fear blocks us from accessing our higher self and our own consciousness. So, if fear is the opposite of love, it makes sense how it is our #1 obstacle in ascending to higher levels. We can only ascend to the higher levels by removing the fear and replacing it with love. Love is the vibration of the higher realms and in my opinion, the most important thing we can be working on in this life time.

But love is a big generic thing that means lots of things to lots of people. There are many emotions/concepts that could be considered sub categories of love. Empathy, Service, Kindness, Happiness, Joy, Gratitude, etc. all stem from Love, in one way or another. Likewise, there are many emotions/concepts that stem from fear… Jealousy, Pride, Selfishness and many specific types of fear such as fear of failure, fear of commitment in a relationship, fear of airplanes, fear of driving, fear of being alone, fear of spiders, etc. The list could go on and on.

About 2 months ago, I attended a conference at Eceti Ranch. One of the speakers, Inelia Benz was asked the question, What is the most important thing that we can do to prepare for ascension? Her answer was simple: “Process Your Fears.” This is not a new concept. I’ve known this for a long time and I agree with it. But there is a difference between knowing this concept and actually digging in and doing it. Its not easy to face your fears and its not comfortable. It involves a restructuring of the way you think and of releasing something that has been controlling your life and progression in one way or another for probably a very long time. Why do we want to run away from our fears instead of facing those that are controlling us? Its because its hard work and things that cause fear make us want to run to safety. So when we run away from it, we think we are going to safety through avoidance. But the truth is that we only give more power to the fear that is controlling us.

I’d like to share an experience I had today, within the last few hours (I want to get it all down while its still fresh! :). As I was doing my meditation and after I had gotten into a very relaxed state, I asked my higher self to show me what I needed to do to accelerate the embodiment of love throughout my being. The answer I got was to work on a specific fear. (Please note that the realization that I needed to work on some specific aspect of fear was an important part of this. Working on fear as a general concept would not work quite the same). Then as I asked about which fear to work on, I felt that I should go with the one related to money. (A little background about this, the last few weeks, I’ve noticed myself struggling more with money than I have been over the past 9 months or so. But the struggle for money is something I have dealt with in the past and in circumstances that were more difficult. Being an entrepreneur is not easy, but I have developed some valuable skills related to my business. I have many successful endeavors and the demand in the market place for my services is quite high. So, the potential to make it big is completely within the realm of possibilities. Yet, it seems like the big deals that could have gone through over the years seemed to fall through and despite my best attempts, things have kind of just kept trucking along, with either just enough to get by or even less than that. Its like there was an imaginary invisible barrier that has prevented me from going beyond just making it and scraping by with the skin of my teeth.)

So as I proceeded further into my meditation, I decided to confront this so called fear of not making enough money and in my mind I commanded the following “Show Yourself!”. As I watched in my mind’s eye, I saw a grey-like cloud develop in front of me and as I looked at it, I could see that it got darker and darker as it got closer to the center. It was almost like there was a pitch black apple seed of sorts that was buried right in the middle of it. But something else amazing happened. As it presented itself to me, there was a sudden realization that what I was looking at was not “The fear of making enough money”… It Was The Fear Of Making “Too Much” Money! It was literally one of those moments when the light turned on and I could truly see what was holding me back. Tears came to my eyes as I knew in that moment what I had just experienced. I felt like I just stumbled upon the Holy Grail of knowledge! I quickly started to think about my life and money and saw clearly that I had the abilities, the talent, the skills to make money! That was not the problem! Nor was the fear of money! Nor was the fear of making enough money! What became clear to me in that moment was that I was a little off in what I was dealing with. I also saw that this imaginary invisible barrier was not imaginary. It was real and it was trying to protect me. Huh??? Protect me from what? Well, I also received that in one or more of my past lives, I had experienced a life where I possessed too much money (probably in the capacity of a banker) and that had resulted in me doing & being a type of person that I was not pleased with. I was probably selfish, unkind & arrogant and hurt other people in the process. The regret and despair I felt was carried over from a previous life was the result of too much money, in my opinion. It was like I had an engrained belief that “Too Much Money Will Ruin Me”. Perhaps there were other beliefs that were passed to me from my parents and other previous experiences in this life. But I knew the belief and fear was somehow connected to a previous life AND IT WAS STILL AFFECTING ME IN THIS LIFE!

It made me realize the following: “How can we truly solve a problem within our lives if we don’t even know what the problem is?”

Too many times, we look at a problem (such as not making enough money) and we think that the underlying cause is that we just need to work harder or find a better job, a better business, or something else that is more superficial in nature. I’m not saying that those things are not the actual cause. Maybe they are for you. But for me, in my experience, there was something deeper that needed to be addressed and the miracle was that I discovered it (but the truth is that I think I’ve always known)… but it just became ever so clear to me. In fact, as I think about it, I can remember so many times when I’ve been presented with an opportunity that I knew would change everything. I’m talking about big deals with clients, partners or service providers that would have made me a very wealthy person. But things just fell through. It was like as I started approaching that invisible threshold, the “Too Much Money Will Ruin You” belief system kicked in and undermined the whole thing.

Now, let’s get back to the issue of It was trying to protect me. While there are certainly many cases where money does contribute greatly to ruining someone, is it always the case? Absolutely not. There are many great wealthy people who have plenty of money and seem to do just fine. It does not ruin everybody. Would it ruin me in this life time? I’d like to think that it wouldn’t, but I will acknowledge that I believe it probably did in the past. So I can see why a false belief system based on an actual past experience would have affected me through my life (up till now).

What to Do

Just knowing what you’re up against really is half the battle. What I realized that was so amazing to me is that I was so close to the issue, yet I wasn’t going at it directly. I was getting close, but for some reason, I wasn’t seeing the whole picture. I do now. So as I looked at this grey cloud, I decided to start sending it my love. I said over and over in my mind, “I love you” “I love you” “I love you”. I felt appreciation for this thing or entity… whatever it was… until I saw it dissolve and disappear into the light. The grey like edges would melt away first and it got smaller and smaller. As it got to the point where just the black seed was left, again I commanded, “Show yourself” I wanted to know what the dark spot represented. And in that moment, I knew it was a particular traumatic experience that had happened in that lifetime that was the catalyst for most all of this. I also knew that for me, it wasn’t important to know the exact details of what happened at this time, but to know that there was a significant experience. So released it. I thanked it. I loved it and like the rest of the grey cloud, I saw it disappear and be transformed into the light. I felt peace in that moment. I held no hard feelings towards others nor the entity thing I saw. I was actually thankful for it. I could see how it has benefited me and helped me learn valuable lessons in this lifetime.

Then I thought about the concern of the entity that having too much money would ruin me. What if I became a billionaire or even a trillionaire? My conscious mind was trying to figure out what would happen if I did become a trillionaire (extreme example, I know). In other words, would it ruin me? As I asked myself the question, I knew automatically that it would. If I had a trillion dollars and there were still people living in poverty in this world, then I would consider myself a bad person for having so much while others had so little. Sure I could donate a few trillion, but I still wouldn’t be satisfied because I can’t think of any reason why I would need even 1 trillion.

Based on that example, I felt I still had to have a limit, even if it was less than a trillion. It was like I was an attorney in the court room arguing the case on behalf of the side of me that wanted to stop “just getting by”. I wanted to experience life with less stress, more abundance, more vacations & more than enough money to do what I wanted to do. Then on the other side of the courtroom was this entity saying that I needed a limit. Otherwise, I would ruin myself. But the idea of setting a tangible limit seemed ridiculous to me. Should abundance be limited? Does God have a limit? So, I could certainly see both sides of the coin here.

Then, I had an idea. The side of me that wanted to stop the “just getting by” nonsense called over the other side. “How about we negotiate?” I said. I really don’t believe that you imposing a limit on me means that I need to struggle. How does that serve people I owe money to? How about my family? What is wrong with experiencing life without the stress? I understand your point of view and you understand mine. So here is what I am willing to offer: “How about we let our Higher Self/God decide what that limit is?” You & I release the need for any kind of limit but allow me full freedom in experiencing abundance in wonderful and amazing ways so I never again have to experience the feeling of just barely making it (or not making it). We both know that our Higher Self knows what is best and He will allow me to increase in prosperity significantly while at the same time help me develop my character to the point where too much money would have any bearing on the character of who I choose to be. Our Higher Self knows best and will help me to have the right balance for my own particular path. So, in that case, will you release the limit? Absolutely was the answer.

After the agreement, I visualized a direct connection from God/Higher Self (within me) to my level of abundance that replaced the entities control that kept me in struggle financially. I was free. I knew that connecting directly to God in this situation was much more healthy than having a false entity belief system do the job. I had to resolve in my mind the contradictory nature of the 2 sides, which finally came together to allow greater abundance in my life.

What that abundance is and will be, I don’t know exactly. I am leaving that up to God/Higher Self (within me), but I do know that the channels of prosperity are open now. We all have a right to that abundance and it doesn’t have to affect us in a negative way!

Living Within the Flow

The No Pain, No Gain Paradigm

Engrained within the consciousness of mankind for many thousands of years has existed a belief paradigm that could be summarized with a common slogan known to many as: “No pain, no gain”. The idea behind it is that your sheer will and tremendous effort and struggle will give you the rewards you seek. This belief system is embedded within sports, educational systems, religion, politics, business and many other organizations.

As you dissect this particular thought form, you’ll find that it is built on a 3rd dimensional framework of duality. In other words, there is a level of opposition (or limitations) that must be encountered if you are to achieve your desired results. For example, an Olympic Athlete must exert tremendous effort, pushing his/her body to its limits and going through intense mental discipline in order to go faster, jump higher & endure more than the average person can do. This idea of struggle is almost perceived with a form of reverence. Even nations participate in this as one country goes to war to punish another country for its policies or wrongdoings (or to exercise its influence by trying to control another group of people). This paradigm promotes the agenda that there is always a winner and loser. Or from a religious point of view, a Heaven and a Hell or the good people and the bad people.

Here on Earth, there is no doubt that we have all experienced opposition in one form or another. Opposition can occur in the form of our own physical/mental limitations or it can appear in the form of other people who set up barriers to achieving your desired outcome. People who endure the struggle and end up ‘winning’ are considered successes. Yet for all of those who struggle and win, there are many more who struggle and fail, struggle and fail, struggle and fail, etc. These are the vicious cycles of self-defeat that keep us locked into duality consciousness and believing that we are less than what we truly are: Children of God. In addition, this vicious cycle engrains within us the idea that the only way to succeed is to push harder, study more, endure more pain, etc so that you can arrive at your intended destination.

Living in a world of duality is not a natural state of being. It is an artificial construct designed to teach us the lessons of separation. Through this experience, we learn many lessons that accelerate our spiritual growth. Every experience, whether good or bad contributes to our learning, joy and development throughout the eternities.

However, we live in a unique time of history. The world of duality is leaving and the world of oneness is coming. This transition does not happen overnight, but it has already started and many of us are currently experiencing symptoms of both worlds while going through this transition. We still feel the struggle associated with money, relationships, health, etc but yet we are waking up and seeing through the illusions that we have been placed under.

How the Synchronicities of Life Help Us to Live in the Flow

Within the higher dimensions, duality consciousness leaves and we no longer succumb to the artificial thought forms of the “No Pain, No Gain” mentality as well as the winner/loser, good/bad, light/dark belief systems. Removing the opposition from our lives frees up the flow of the universe as it interacts with our consciousness. For example, in the 3D world, lets say you have an idea of bringing an elephant into your backyard. Well, you are going to face some obstacles to accomplishing that. First, you will have to get a permit to be able to do so. Most likely, your house is not in a zone where having an elephant would be permissible, but even if it is, you will then have to figure out where to get the elephant, how to purchase it and then how to transport it to your backyard. Even if you succeed, you might encounter lots of issues with damage to your house and to other little pets in the neighborhood, not to mention the costs of feeding your large friend. ☺

In the 5th dimension, you make the intention of having a well-mannered elephant in your backyard and then it instantly appears because the limitations and opposing forces have been dissolved. There are no opposing forces to you manifesting the elephant. As Earth goes through this transition, what happens is that the speed of manifestation increases. Perhaps things that normally would take a longer period of time start happening faster, until at some point in the future, we will experience instantaneous manifestations for things that would have taken much more time previously.

Seeing the Synchronicities or Coincidences in life are simply ways in which we are being shown the Hand of God in our lives. They are indications that we are part of the Oneness and that the illusion of separation/duality consciousness is leaving. There is no such thing as a coincidence because when we become one with All That Is, then instead of having opposing forces keeping you from your intended outcome, you have ‘helping’ forces who want you to experience what you consciously and unconsciously desire.

An important point here has to do with our level of awareness. At this point, we are not yet able to comprehend all of our realities and existences as multi-dimensional beings. We think we know something, but we really only catch a tiny sliver of the information that is available. The more we grow spiritually, the more we start to see how much there is that we don’t know or comprehend. So our perception of what we think we want might be different from what our Higher Self sees that we want. The Higher Self knows more than what we know with our limited conscious mind. So, being able to release our ego and open up our awareness to another outcome or another way of getting to the same outcome is very important as we learn to live within the flow.

Have you ever had a time where things just seemed to click? Or where the path for you to accomplish your goal just fell into place as you went through the various steps that led you to your ultimate destination? This is what it is like to live within the flow. Sure, you still have to take action (at least for now), but so many times that action is easy, quick and you find yourself enjoying the process.

Any time you experience resistance to a particular path you are following, you are not living within the flow in that situation. Either your ego is pushing you in a direction that is not for your highest good or you have limitations/belief systems that are manifesting the opposition you are experiencing.

The first step to being able to live within the flow is to release your ego and to be okay with where you are right now. You most likely have issues you are ‘fighting against’. We all do. But understanding the role of duality consciousness and how it serves you and then realizing that the time we are living in is facilitating our abilities to live within the flow allows us to bless and release the opposition as we go with the flow and ask our Higher Self, “Now what is the best thing to do?”.

Mentally fighting and struggling with the undesirable situation only keeps you in the situation. When you are fighting against something or someone, you are locked in the 3rd Dimensional Duality Mindset. This is a cycle that we will repeat over and over until we get it. Just like a hamster running on a wheel in its cage, it will not go anywhere until it decides to get off the wheel (and then escapes from the cage) ☺.

Think about the negative cycles you are experiencing in your life. Are you fighting them? If so, you must stop fighting them and come to a point of understanding and acceptance of the situation exactly as it is at this moment. Only then will you be able to open yourself up to living within the flow as it relates to that situation.

When you release and surrender your ego, you can start to feel the change that occurs within. You can feel the peace even before you see the outward manifestations.

The second step is allow yourself to feel the emotions, vibrations, energies of the desired outcome with the caveat that you will allow that something different or better to come instead of your stated desire. This is the insurance clause in case there is a difference between what your lower conscious self and Higher Self wants. Sometimes we get what we want to our own detriment if we allow our Lower Self’s desires to supersede what is truly best for us.

The third step is to give yourself time for meditation and relaxation. While thoughts that lead to effective actions can come at any time, your abilities to manifest and be where you need to be, contact who you need to contact and say what you need to say will only be enhanced by tapping into the deeper aspects of yourself. Your awareness expands and you start listening to the subtle directions that your Higher Self gives you.

Just as in the movie Avatar, there is a Higher Self who sees more data and has more connections than we can possibly imagine. Living in the flow means to let this Higher Self do the driving and as we do so, we are going to experience the journey in a way that is much easier, fun and fulfilling!

Enjoy the Ride!

How Blaming Others Can Affect Your Ability to Manifest

Welcome. It is a pleasure to meet with you today and to convey some important messages related to the divine path of spiritual growth. You understand many important truths, but the vast knowledge that is available to you is so much greater than your current level of understanding can comprehend.

Obstacles to Manifesting Your Reality

In your 3D life, you become accustomed to certain beliefs, patterns, rituals & cycles that may seem difficult to escape. People go through their entire lives struggling to achieve some desired outcome, but yet lack the ability to overcome the limitations preventing them from succeeding. This knowledge and so much more is available to you now. Your ability to create your reality as you desire is one of the most important things you can do to accelerate your spiritual growth.

By doing so, you become a co-creator with God in manifesting the desires of your heart. As you examine the qualities of God, it is easy to realize that God’s abilities are unlimited. Do you think that He struggles with losing weight, manifesting abundance, finding true love or feeling confined with limitations that do not allow Him to manifest what He desires? Absolutely not. He has the ability to instantly manifest whatever it is He desires to create.

As co-creators with God, you are also learning those skills, but in a test environment. Your 3D environment now gives you an opportunity for growth that is unprecedented. Developing those same skills of manifestation in a 3D environment is more difficult because of the lower density & vibrations which move more slowly than when your wishes are inserted into the universal consciousness at a higher vibration. In a nutshell, there is more clutter and more obstacles that get in the way in the lower levels of consciousness.

Some of that clutter involves ego, lack of understanding of how the process of creation works, lack of love for yourself and others, fear, emotional scars that have not been healed and blaming others for your lack of success.

How Blame Plays a Role in the (un) Creation Process

Blaming others is one of the oldest games known to man. I call it a game because the assumption that others control your reality is false. Participating in this “Blame Game” causes you to be less empowered. You are essentially giving the control of your life over to other people who ‘supposedly’ have the ability to create undesirable outcomes in your life.

From a lower perspective, you may be inclined to cast blame when someone hurts you physically or emotionally or when someone makes a decision that acts as an obstacle to your desired outcome. Now, how many of us living on Earth have been affected in a negative way by the decisions/actions of others? I would venture to say that all of us have been in some way or another.

However, the important point to remember is that things that we see in our outer world are simply a reflection of what is transpiring in the Inner World. Holding resentments within us will only cause more of the same. As long as we continually vibrate the energies of ‘being hurt’, we will continually attract the situations where we will be hurt. The person who comes in to fulfill that role of ‘hurting you’ is not the person to blame. That person was the manifestation of what was going on within you.

A most effective analogy is the one of someone who looks in the mirror and sees something they do not like. Maybe they’re going bald, getting wrinkles, getting fat or not looking as good as they want. So because they don’t like what they see, they blame the mirror, because after all, it is the mirror that is showing them what they don’t like. Well, from this example, it is easy to see how silly it is to blame the mirror when the mirror is only a ‘reflection’ of the person standing in front of it.

The problem is that many of us spend our whole lives trying to fix the mirror instead of the source of the reflection. Blaming others is one of the biggest ways that we attempt to fix the mirror. The person who came in to fulfill the role is only helping to reflect back to you certain issues that need to be cleared. We can never get to the point of fixing the real issue if we are blaming someone else. We must take 100% responsibility of any undesirable outcome that comes into our life.

Taking 100% responsibility means that we are going to allow the situation to be cleared within us at an Inner Level. It means we allow love and light to come in and wash away the negative feelings that have occurred.

You see, problems are simply opportunities for growth, but yet it is so easy to get caught up in the “Who did this to me?” mentality. It is very possible that we will never know the divine reason why something ‘happened’ to us. So instead of ‘blaming so and so’, the best thing we can do is to find a way to forgive all of those who are involved, including yourself and ask, “What is the most effective way to clear this issue?”

The teachings of Ho’Oponopono that direct you to say “I love you”, “I’m sorry” “Please Forgive Me” and “Thank You” are some of the most empowering things you can say. These phrases allow true healing providing that the emotions of the words are felt as well. Having the deep knowledge that everything that happens, both Good & Bad fulfills a divine role in some way, even if it is only to experience forgiveness or some other lesson we needed to learn.

There are two paths you can take when something ‘bad’ happens. One is take the path of blaming someone else and the other allows you to clear it, learn the lesson, grow from it and move on. While many may be inclined to take the first path, it will always prove to be the most difficult because it doesn’t actually resolve the problem at the Inner Level and at a later time, whether in this life or the next, you will be given the opportunity to clear it again.

Now you may say, well there is no possible way that you were vibrating energy levels that would have caused all of the traumatic things that have occurred in your life. It is very likely you were not consciously thinking about them, however, there are a few reasons why negative situations occur in our lives:

1) On an unconscious level, we were vibrating at a level that attracted the outcome.
2) We had a soul level contract to go through that experience
3) The so called negative experience was really a blessing in disguise
4) There was something that we needed to learn
5) Some other reason

As mentioned previously, we don’t always know the reason, but we don’t have to know the reason. Know that whatever has happened can be turned into an opportunity for growth. The real master is the one who can bless the trials and thank God for those as much as the blessings. Doing so will allow you to live in the flow much more easily and experience an abundance of peace and joy that we experience in the higher realm.

Riding the Waves of Change

Hello. Welcome to my realm. I am happy to be here and to be in communication with you. Your desires and efforts do not go unnoticed. There are many who are here with me and who applaud your sincerity as well as others throughout your world who are opening up to the light. We watch in our minds and on screens similar to your television how the world is lighting up (and lightening up) throughout this amazing time of your Earth’s evolution.

You and each person on the Earth at this time volunteered to be here for this momentous and exciting time. Your desires to be a light and help facilitate the Earth as it makes its way through the ascension process was made known and you came to play the role that you chose. Some have chosen not to wake up. Some have chosen to play a negative role in this time and some are to shine their light so bright and ride the waves of change into an exciting era of transition for your planet.

Just knowing that you made the decision to come here is important and can help one to endure the turbulence of the flight. A climber who seeks to climb Mt Everest or any other high mountain knows that he will face difficult circumstances along the way. Yet, the climber embarks on the journey anyway knowing full well what lies ahead. But the thrill of the adventure, the feeling of accomplishing a difficult challenge brings with it a sense of fulfillment that can only come from the experience itself.

Just like the climbers, you knew that the fulfillment that comes from transcending duality and riding the wave from a polarized system of good vs bad to a consciousness of oneness is far more significant than climbers accomplishing their goal of climbing the highest mountain peak. Like the climbers, you knew you would face hardships, but yet you chose to come. You also knew more about your plan and eternal destiny and recognized that this incarnation would propel you upwards through the path of light far more than any other.

In some cases, some individuals would experience an acceleration of spiritual progress equivalent to that of 1000 lifetimes. With this knowledge, you chose to face the danger, the negativity and the fear that pervades this planet to experience your own thrill and give your light to the planet that has been imprisoned for a very long time. You come at a time where the prison guards are being sent home, where the flow of love fills the earth and where people act in kindness to others.

There is a difference between living a complete lifetime in a higher dimension and experiencing a transition from a lower level of consciousness to a higher one in the same lifetime. In fact, the latter is far superior to your own growth. You are our heros. We salute you and cheer you on as you make your way through the dense & dangerous jungle and from our vantage point, we can tell you that the plush paradise that you have dreamt about is not far away. It is within your reach.

At this time, you sense your arrival coming soon and just like little children, who continue to ask the question, “Are we there yet?” you also do the same. Sometimes maintaining patience and staying in the present moment, not getting discouraged are difficult things to do because deep within in your mind & heart, you already know what its like to live in that paradise that you imagine and you long to return home, to be released of the negativity that enshrouds your life, the monotony of the daily routines that keep you locked in the 3D world.

Just know that every dream you have will be realized because you will have the ability to create it. For one person, the 5D world will be different than for someone else. The point is that it will be what you want. The idea of limitations and struggle and people, places and things that prevent you from accomplishing what you really want will fall away. In fact it already is. There is no need to worry about the Dec 21, 2012 date. It is approaching shortly and millions across the world are holding their breath to wait to see what this anticipated day will bring. Will it bring destruction, conflict, natural disasters, ascension, enlightenment, truth? Well, the truth is that it will bring what you want it to bring and knowing that and internalizing that truth gives you the power to wake up and decide what you want it to be for you.

Even now, your powers of actualizing your dreams are more potent than even 1 year ago. It appears that time is accelerating, but time is only an illusion and you are starting to see through the illusion and the imprisonment that you have been under for so long and for so many incarnations.

It is a time to celebrate and live life to the fullest… To take each and every day for the blessed day it is. While having one foot in a dualistic world and another in a world fill with peace & bliss may seem difficult, its important to maintain balance and take each day for what it is… A blessing and a chance to give thanks for the opportunity you have to be here at this time literally experiencing the thrill of a lifetime. Dec 21 will come and go and for those who are so focused on that day, it will be a disappointment, but for those who can see the big picture, these individuals will look at the process and realize that over the past x number of years, that they have evolved and are truly different people than they were before. They are more enlightened and their bodies are filled with light.

Well what about all of the bad people who control the planet, you ask. Will they be able to continue to implement their systems of control to keep us locked up? And the answer is “Absolutely Not”. Even at this present moment, their system of control is falling apart at the seams. They have even convinced themselves that this is not possible and they can do things to keep people locked up and while they will succeed to keep a certain portion of the population of the world ignorant and in fear, they have no way to keep the world from ascending. It is like an ant trying to stop a tidal wave. The tidal wave is going to win and the ant will either have to ride the wave or get killed in the process.

You have a lot to be grateful for. As you seek for continued guidance, we will be here for you ready to lend a hand. We have always been here for you. We love you and are excited to stand side by side and face to face in brotherly love. Even your most wonderful vision of the future has no frame of reference yet for the truly marvelous future that is in store for you. So why worry about 2012? Enjoy it and live your dreams. Experience love & let your light shine!

Got Bad Habits? Here are 8 Steps To Break Out Of Your Shell

Breaking Out Of Shell Of Bad Habits

This is me breaking out of my shell a few years back 😉

Let’s face it. You already know what you want to change. You just haven’t been able to do it. You’ve got a little devil on one shoulder and a little angel on the other. But why is it that the little devil keeps winning? (Hint: Read #1 Below)

1. Understand That Sheer Will Power Alone Will Not Change Your Bad Habits.
Most likely, you have been blaming yourself because you have already tried and exerted lots of effort to change, only to find yourself repeating the same bad habits. When you realize that mental exertion is not going to help by itself, you stop the vicious cycle and find new ways that will work.

2. Discover the “Why”
If you have a strong enough “why”, then any change is possible. Search deep and ask yourself what the short term and long term consequences will be if you don’t change your habit. Then ask yourself how you’re going to feel once you break the habit. You just gave the little angel some major ammo!!

3. Associate the Bad Habit to Increased Pain
There is a part of us that keeps us doing the bad habits because it has linked pleasure to the habit in some way. Even though you feel guilt and remorse, the feeling of pleasure is still greater than the feeling of pain. For example, if you absolutely knew that a certain action would cause instant death, would you do it? Obviously not, unless you were going to commit suicide…. and the reason is because the level of pain associated with death is so much greater. In other words, you have just given yourself tons of leverage.

4. Focus On Changing the Desire, not the Action.
The only way of winning the “fight” is to not think of it as a “fight” at all. No longer are you fighting against something, you are simply training your brain to think in a different way. Remember it is the associations that keep you trapped in your shell.

5. Implement Healthy Substitutions
Never use force to make yourself do or not do something. It is always short term because you are fighting against a subconscious desire. However, learning to desire and actually enjoy the substitute instead is a powerful way to train your brain to think in a different way. You can also reward yourself when you make the correct choice.

Breaking Through Glass Ceiling

There's A Whole New World That Just Opened Up

6. Get Professional Positive Reinforcement
You need people in your life that are supportive of your decision to change. This could mean new friends or reducing the time with people who are holding you back. It also means getting professional help. And while this list is a great start for overcoming habits, if you really want to overcome your bad habits for good, then Lee Milteer’s 21 Day Habit Busting Program is the one you want. There are tons of testimonials and a free sample audio & chapter are included.

7. Change Your Mental Chatter
Did you know our actions stem from our thoughts. If change how we think, we actually change how we act. One way to help reprogram the negative thinking that has led us to take negative actions is to: a) wear a rubber band around one wrist and snap it each time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought. Then immediately replace that thought with the positive opposite. Then b) Keep repeating affirmations that support your desired goals. Repetition is essential in training your subconscious brain to think differently. One Self Confidence Program that has proven effective is the one by Steve Jones and Brad Yates. They have been combining EFT with hypnosis and clients have experience astounding results.

8. Visualize & Feel The End Result
There are many books about visualization. But in a nutshell, you need to see and feel yourself succeeding. Remember that the accomplishment of any goal is directly related to your belief in your ability to actually do it. Visualizing by itself is helpful, but when combined with the emotions of having overcome the habit, then your success is unstoppable. Lee Milteer provides some great tips as to how to do this.

Building Self Confidence

Selfesteem.jpgFor over 1 year, I have been working as an Internet Coach and have gotten to know many people on a personal basis. The people I have worked with are at many different levels. There are some who can be guided along and shown the steps to success and there are others who need to be pulled along. However, as I get to know people, I have gained certain insights as to the factors that stop success and one of those things has to do with a lack of Self-Confidence.

Building Self Confidence is something that doesn’t happen overnight, but it is often something that is overlooked in the context of improving one’s life. I would like to discuss this topic a bit and give some pointers as to how someone with low or no self confidence can start increasing it in order to experience more of what they desire.

First off, we need to understand that Self Confidence has to do with YOUR perception of yourself. Have you ever known someone who is overly critical of themselves, but if you were to ask 10 other people who know the person, you would get 10 different perceptions and most of them would not be as critical as the perception of that same person? How is it possible to have many different variations of perceptions when there is only one truth? This tells us that Perception Does NOT equal Reality. And when we start to feel negative about ourselves, perhaps a good question to ask would be if God would have the same perception. This helps to get us out of the inner drama that we have created and look at the situation from a higher perspective.

People who have a lack of self confidence are people who look at their limitations and translate those into negative emotions. Those negative emotions then affect many other areas of their lives because they feel “inferior” or “incapable” in some way. People who have self confidence know about their limitations, but they don’t allow their limitations to translate into negative emotions that affect their further growth. The fact is that everyone has limitations. Here are 2 examples of how a limitation can affect someone’s progress in 2 different ways:

I look too young, therefore, others will view me as not capable of holding any managerial or leadership positions.


I look young and youthful, therefore, others will have more respect for me because of my youthfulness and health.

The reason I use this example is because the former is a negative belief system that I experienced previously in my life. This negative belief system affected my self confidence. You can do this exercise for any limitation that you are experiencing. First, state the limitation, then add the remaining part of the sentence that describes how it affects you. In other words, I have this _______, therefore ________________________. After you have done that, then take the same limitation and find a positive statement that cancels out the negative. Notice that you are not removing your limitation, you are simply replacing your perception of the limitation to one of a more positive nature.

The other important aspect of Self Confidence involves Love of Self. I don’t mean this in an egotistical way that makes you want to have more and be more than others. Self Love does not involve comparisons. Stop comparing yourself to other people. If you get sucked into that, you will find that there are always people who are better off than you and there are always people who are worse off than you. You simply need to love yourself because you are YOU. You are the only YOU (and that is something special). God loves you unconditionally and you need to love yourself unconditionally as well. It doesn’t mean that you have to accept how things are, but that you need to not make your love of yourself dependent upon your success. Think about a newborn baby. That baby has done nothing of major significance, but yet the love you have for a newborn baby is so wonderful. That is unconditional love.

The next step in this process involves Gratitude. If you take every unpleasant situation and change your perception of it to something positive, then you will have self confidence. There is a silver lining in everything, even if it is simply to make us stronger or to teach us something, we can always find something positive. So start today to consciously make the change to think in a different way… in a way that truly brings you closer to God. By doing so, you will find greater self confidence and help you to experience more of what you truly desire.

Characteristic of Zodiac Sign

In Astrology, the Zodiac represents a Zone in the heavens that contains the paths of the Sun, Moon, and
planets. Within this pathway, this zone is divided into 12 signs, namely Aries, Taurus, Gemini,
Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius,
and Pisces. Each of the 12 Signs represents a period of time during the year. Because of the relationship between our universe and our own lives, there are certain characteristics that can be attributed to you, in general, based on your own date of birth.

The Characteristic of Zodiac Sign can give us great insights into our day to day
living as well as the many talents, characteristics and weaknesses we possess. You
can discover much relevant information about yourself by learning about your Zodiac sign.

For centuries, humans have looked to the heavens for guidance.
Astrology is, put simply, the study of the correlation between the
astronomical positions of the planets and events on earth.
Astrologers believe that the positions of the Sun, Moon, and
planets at the time of a person’s birth have a direct influence on
that person’s character. These positions are thought to affect a
person’s destiny, although many Astrologers feel that free will
plays a large role in any individual’s life.

We,  can be used as a powerful and fun
tool for understanding ourselves, others, and the world around us.
We use many different tools, or languages, to define and
understand our world. For example, we  can use psychological tools
and terminology to explore human behavior. Similarly, Astrology
gives us rich tools for understanding human character, and offers
us a language for communicating our observations with others.

While we can
use the natal chart (also called a birth chart or horoscope) as a
“window” into any individual or event, we should never
use it to pass judgment or to label people. Neither should we use
it as an excuse for our behavior! We can never purport to know
absolutely everything about someone just because we have their
natal chart before us. It is a good idea to approach Astrology as
an imperfect language. Even if it were perfect, we are not, so our
interpretations can never be considered anywhere close to
perfect. It follows to be wary of anyone claiming to be an
Astrologer who also alleges to “know all”, or makes dire
predictions. This kind of practice is not only irresponsible and
misleading, it can
affect the lives of those who believe them in adverse ways.

Maintaining Balance in an Unbalanced World

balance.jpgIn ancient Greece, there are 2 sayings that were inscribed on the temple of Apollo in Delphi. One of which is “Know Thyself” and the other is “Nothing to Excess.” The phrase “Nothing to Excess can also be compared to the phrase “Moderation in All Things”. We all know from personal experience just how easy it is to get caught up in something at the exclusion of other important areas of our life. I would assume that practically everyone on the Earth today has felt like their life is (or was) out of balance at some time. The better question may be  what things are “In Excess” and what needs to happen to “Bring your Life into More Balance.”

Achieving and Maintaining Balance is, actually, one of the biggest
challenges facing people today. How many people do you know who claim to be “too busy”? Well, I don’t know about you, but EVERYONE I know seems TOO BUSY. There is the job, family concerns, errands to run, food to buy, people to talk to, repairs, play time, etc. When you add it all up, there is never enough time in a day to get everything done. Sometimes your job can be the culprit. Do you know anyone who works 10 hours or more a day? How much time does this person have for relaxation and attending to all of the various activities? Sometimes, everyday worries and concerns can
tempt us to get out of balance. We worry for this or worry for that and we find ourselves unbalanced mentally because all we’re doing is worrying. Or how about the person who spends all their time at the gym and they’ve got a great body to show for it, but they’ve neglected their family? On the opposite side, how about the person who never gets any physical activity? Or how about the person who spends hours upon hours everyday in front of the TV? Even certain kinds of foods taken to an extreme can cause imbalance in your body.

Balance is maintaining a consistent,
healthy lifestyle on a daily basis in mind, body and spirit, regardless
of your circumstances and situations. In other words, there is equal focus and attention given to each of the main areas of our life. Here are some tips for achieving balance in these different aspects of our lives: 

Balancing Your Mind

A balanced mind means that we are aware of where our thoughts are throughout the day. We consciously focus on the here and now. We are observant to the happenings around us, yet we are actively directing our thoughts to our task at hand. Many people allow their mind to wander
throughout the day. The wandering thoughts generally go to the past to mull over experiences or situations that made an impact in some way or another or they go to the future to events that represent hopes, dreams or fears of future scenarios. In the movie Napoleon Dynamite, I think the perfect example of someone who continually dwelt in the past is Uncle Rico, who constantly daydreamed about his days on the high school football team.

Yesterday is gone. There is nothing we can do to go back and change
what has happened in the past. We can learn from our mistakes, though, or
remember happy or satisfying experiences. These thoughts of our past can also trigger
depressive or sad feelings such as regret or guilt. Sometimes these feelings hold us back and stop us from letting go of the unresolved negative feelings. In this way, our yesterdays will impact our today’s in negative ways and we will remain anchored to the past.

Another way that we become unbalanced mentally is when we allow our thoughts to wander into the future. These
thoughts will cause feelings of anxiety, fear of the unknown and
unnecessary pressure. While it is important to maintain the belief and expectation that our goals will be realized, there is a proper way of doing this. For example, we can not act in the future. We can only act in the here and now. And sometimes the daydreaming of our future can steal the joy of the moment if we are worried about the future. The reality is that we can only take steps toward our goals one day at a time. Each day is a
gift, which is why they call it the present, an old saying that makes a
lot of sense! To attain and maintain balance in your mind, keep your
thoughts focused on the present. Trying to focus on everything that could potentially happen is a lot of stress to be carrying around. Find joy in the moment.

Balancing Your Body

Balancing your body involves exercising regularly, eating the proper foods in the proper amounts, as well as getting the proper amount of sleep along with other activities that contribute to an overall
healthy lifestyle. Twenty to thirty minutes of exercise each day is an amount recommended by many doctors and nutritionists as an optimal time period. At times, when people get too busy with work or other activities, sometimes they don’t get the exercise they need. But not
only are there many physical benefits, exercise also helps to balance the mind
and spirit also. Exercise releases natural endorphins that help your
body to relax and feel good. Walking continues to be one of the
healthiest forms of exercise, although there are many others that are also beneficial. I enjoy swimming. 

Monitoring food intake and becoming aware of the types of food that
your body needs and best responds to also helps you attain and maintain
balance. Vegetables, fruits, grains, seeds, nuts are all important parts of a healthy diet. A Nutritionist that I highly respect once defined “food” as the following: something that can be digested, assimilated and eliminated. Not everything we eat fits that criteria. Do you know how many types of chemicals have been added to our “food” supply since the early 1900’s? I’ll give you a hint… Its in the thousands and maybe tens of thousands. No wonder so many people are sick nowadays. For a good online source of quality health food products, check out True Foods Market or Manna Harvest.

Another important element in maintaining body balance is getting the proper amount of sleep each night. Most people suggest 8 hours, although this may be varied based on the needs of the person. I’ve known people who simply don’t need that much sleep and others who need more. Sleep is also a part of balancing your
thoughts. I have noticed that when I try to push myself too much and stay up too late, my days don’t go as well till I get enough sleep. In fact, most people do not get enough sleep and therefore are
unable to have daily balance or be as productive or effective to their
full potential.

In terms of other items that affect balance in this area, we can include drinking plenty
of water, limiting/eliminating the intake of alcohol, smoking, drugs and
minimizing exposure to toxins or other chemicals both externally as well as internally.

Balancing Your Spirit

Balancing your spirit will increase your peace and joy each
day. Everyone needs some “Alone” time where you can stop and listen to the insights that come through you. Spending time in meditation every day helps with. A spiritual connection will also decrease confusion and increase
clarity when things just do not make sense in the world and no one
person seems to have an answer. Many religions advocate prayer and I strongly believe that not only is there a God, but our God (or our Heavenly Father) loves us and wants to hear from us. We do not always get the answers we want, but we do get the answers we need, when we ask in faith.

Many people confuse spirituality with religion.
While they are intertwined, they are still separate. Religion can be a part of an individual’s spirituality, however it is
not the same thing. A person can be spiritual, but not participate in an
organized religion. Spirituality is a belief in a higher power and a desire to follow the will of that Higher Power. Most people refer to God, in this way. Religion is usually an organized group of people with the same set of beliefs. I have my religion, which I believe, but just because someone is a member of a religion does not mean that they are spiritual. Nor does regular attendance to a particular meeting (even though the meetings can help you learn to be more spiritual). The real test to your spirituality comes from who you become and how your relationship with God develops and improves over time. Reading Scriptures, such as the Bible, can help bring into our lives a closeness with our Creator and will help us to be more at peace, free of
anxiety, worries or fear.

Taking on too much, wanting to be “in
control,” or feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders are
signs of being out of balance spiritually. This will also impact your
thinking and your emotional well-being, as well as body balance.

Start now to assess your balance and experience life more fully!

The Adoption of Jose

jose.jpgI have had many amazing dreams in my life, but one that kind of stands out is one I had back in 2003 where my wife and I had adopted a little Hispanic boy, named Jose, who was 2 or 3 years old at the time of adoption. That was pretty much all of the details I remembered from the dream. It was actually kind of strange because not once had we ever considered adoption, nor talked about it. We didn’t need to. Our kids seemed to come pretty regularly. First Rachel, then Jane, then Allison and then Wendy. But it was one of those kinds of dreams that left a strong impression, however, at the time, there was no way we could have considered it, so we dismissed the thought from our minds.

A year later, our situation had changed and I was working for another company and I heard that the company had an adoption program. When I found out, I remembered the dream and started thinking more about it. I told my sister and she said that I should check out So, I did a search at this website looking for a “Jose” who was 2 or 3 years old. Surprisingly enough, there was one. I looked at the picture and showed my wife and asked her what she thought and if adopting this little boy was something that she would even consider. Well, she was open to the idea, so we started moving forward in that direction and figuring out what needed to be done. We found out that Jose was located in Guatemala and that the average cost would be around $24,000. We didn’t have that amount of money in the bank, so in reality, we just started down the path of adoption without really knowing how we were going to do it.

We had to get an assessment from a family counselor to show that we would be good parents for an adoptive child. Then, there were numerous forms and tests that needed to be done, which had to be submitted to the U.S. government. We had to have 3 different types of background checks, including ones on a local, state and federal levels. After we finally received the approval from the U.S. side, then we had to do more things to get the approval from the Guatemalan side. I think the total time was approximately 18 months, from start to finish, although we probably could have done things quicker.

In the beginning, I thought I would try and go directly to the orphanage. I figured I’d probably be able to shave off several thousand that way. The crazy thing is that I did manage to find the exact orphanage in Guatemala where Jose was at and the director was willing to deal directly with me. The problem, though, was that he wasn’t willing to assign the boy to us, until we had the approval from the U.S., which we were still working on. So, that “Jose” was reassigned to another family. We were really disappointed, but we proceeded forward and found out that there was another Jose in that same orphanage. It turns out, he was also 2 at the time. My wife and I looked at the picture and felt like we could adopt this other Jose. Well, time ticked on and we still didn’t have the U.S. approval. We did eventually get it, but, unfortunately, the other Jose had been reassigned as well. We didn’t know what to do. We asked about other children at the orphanage, but all of them were pretty much less than 1 year old. We wanted one that was a little older because we were expecting a baby (Wendy) at the time and we didn’t want 2 babies at the same time. So, we told the orphanage director that we would go with a one-year old named Edgar. We figured that maybe the “dream” was just to get us to adopt and perhaps the name and age didn’t really matter. We also figured that if this wasn’t the right boy, then something would happen to prevent that. Well, the next morning, we received an email from the director stating that “Edgar” was no longer available. He had some heart conditions and was going to need surgery.

At this point, we were dumbfounded and didn’t know what to do. However, the following morning, I received an email from a lady in Florida that I had contacted previously. She recommended that I check out a different website that had pictures of lots of Guatemalan children. I had not seen that website before, so I checked it out and immediately found 3 different boys that I felt like could be possibilities. The problem was that they were all with an adoption agency, Commonwealth Adoptions. The reason it was a problem was because it was going to cost $7000 more than going directly to the orphanage. But after getting the runaround with the orphanage director in Guatemala and also due to making a decision on one of the boys (whose name was Jose and was 2 1/2, we finally decided that we should do it anyway).

Going with the Adoption Agency was a smart move. They showed us everything we needed to do in the order it needed to be done. I couldn’t have asked for a better agency and Susana, the lady who helped us, was simply a pleasure to work with.

We know we were led to this particular boy. When his foster mother brought him to the hotel in Guatemala City, he came right to me and gave me a big hug. It was such a special moment. That night, in the hotel, I let him sleep in bed with me and he was so happy and kept giving me hugs. Tears streamed as I realized that God was using me to bless this little boy’s life with something that he didn’t have, a family. Every child deserves a family and the feeling I experienced in that moment was simply wonderful.

On Thanksgiving Day of 2005, I flew home with my newly adopted Jose. It seemed kind of symbolic that it was at Thanksgiving time. Jose was such a hug giver. He would literally hug every person he saw who was within reaching distance. So, everyone at the restaurants and airport all got hugs… It was pretty cute, but at the same time, it was kind of sad. He didn’t know who he belonged to. His birth mother had dropped him off at an orphanage at 9 months, then he was in at least 3 different sets of foster homes, including one where he really got very little to eat, mostly just formula. His teeth were in bad shape and we ended up having 6 of them pulled. We were waiting outside at the airport as my wife pulled up and Jose reached up for her while she was still driving. My 4 little girls were all very interested in their new little brother and were practicing “hola” over and over. Within 1/2 hour of Jose arriving at home, my girls had him all dressed up with purses, bracelets and necklaces. I had to explain that boys were a little different, but Jose didn’t seem to mind, he loved the attention.

Learning to Surrender

surrender.jpgIn terms of Spiritual Growth, surrendering our will to God can be challenging at times. As imperfect beings, not all of our desires are in alignment with God’s plan. Sometimes we wish for things that are not in the Highest Good for ourselves nor others who may be affected by our desire. Even Jesus Christ, himself, once asked the Father, “If it be thy Will, please let this cup pass from me.” But yet, He gave up his will, for something that was better for all involved. Abraham, also, was willing to sacrifice his son, the love and joy of his life, to follow God’s will.

How many times do we have situations where we want something so much and something different happens. We have certain expectations and when those expectations are not fulfilled, we feel let down, discouraged, unhappy, angry, frustrated, etc. But then time passes and somehow we get through the situation and as we look back at it months or even years down the road, it becomes very clear that the things that DID happen were part of the plan that you were meant to go through. For example, you realize that the “other” job you took rather than the one you really wanted was, in fact, the best way for you to go. Or you realize that the suffering you experienced from the death of a loved one really taught you things you couldn’t have learned any other way. Or perhaps, the person that offended you and hurt you so badly was really the catalyst for you to develop more forgiveness in your life.

In each of these challenges, God provides a way for something better to come of it as long as we turn to Him. But how many times do we allow ourselves to wallow in the mire of self-pity and despair? We blame God or even deny His existence as we say, “Surely, if there was a God, He wouldn’t have allowed for this thing to happen”. Well, that’s frankly not true because God has given each of us the gift of free agency, the freedom to make choices and sometimes the bad choices we make have negative consequences. The other important point here is that not all bad things that happen are a result of making bad choices. There are many innocent people who are affected by circumstances beyond their earthly control. For example, the child who was born with a disability, people who die from famines or earthly catastrophes. When we came to this life, there was a plan in place for us to go through certain experiences. I personally believe that we actually took part in creating our own unique plan for this life that is based on the kinds of things we wanted to experience. And perhaps you are thinking “Well, yes, but I never would have wanted to experience that.” What we need to understand is that our perspective often changes and perhaps we did realize it would be difficult, but we saw the greater good that would come out of it. For example, in order to appreciate happiness, we must experience unhappiness. In order to fully appreciate the light, we must experience the darkness and so it goes, “There must needs be opposition in all things”. Another example are the times we struggle and struggle for the things we desire and then finally, we accomplish it. If you were to compare your feelings of how you felt after the intense struggle with having that thing given to you with no effort on your part, in which situation would you feel greater bliss and happiness? Obviously, the one where you had previously experienced the struggle. God knows this and as we helped to plan our Earth lives, I believe that we understood this as well.

Once we understand that everything happens for a reason, that there are no coincidences in life and that there is always a silver lining in all experiences IF we turn back to God, then we can handle the challenging experiences a lot easier because we see things from a Higher perspective. Surrendering our will to God doesn’t mean we give up our goals and desires. In contrast, we need to have a clear picture of what we truly want. That’s how we are guided in our life. We follow our true desires and what resonates with us deep down. But how do we know when to go for it and when we need to surrender? Thats a question I have often pondered. For me, I think about in this way. We are the creators of our reality. We decide the ultimate goal of what we want and then we take that and give it to God. We say, “This is our desire” and then we let God handle “the how”. Sometimes we have expectations as to how it is supposed to happen. But when we understand that is our job to form the vision and it is God’s job to figure out the details so to speak. Sometimes we get so caught up in “how” it is supposed to happen that we end up worrying and then we are defeating the purpose of even having the goal. We need to completely release the expectations of “how” and realize that God knows the best way to handle it in a way that is for the Highest Good of all involved.

The idea of surrender also applies to the ultimate goal or vision that we have because there are many times that we don’t get that ultimate goal even though we have done everything we can think of. But again, we must remember that God’s perspective is different. For example, perhaps we desire a particular job because we think that job will give us a feeling of empowerment and bring greater happiness. But God sees it a bit differently. He sees that we desire a feeling of greater empowerment and happiness in our work and He knows that that the specific job we think we want actually would not provide the deeper feeling that we desire. So, something completely different and unexpected happens. Perhaps you get laid off or you have to move suddenly. Then, something else comes up that is so much better for you in the long run. And then we realize that God really did know what He was doing.

The key here is how we approach these challenging situations. Instead of asking the question, “Why Me?”, perhaps we can ask a better question, such as “What would Thou have me learn from this experience?” or What is the best thing for me to do about this?” The latter will always lead to greater growth whereas the former will only attract more of the same negative experiences.

Realizing Our Full Potential

me.jpgBecoming all that we can be is a subject I have thought a lot about throughout my life. How many times do we limit ourselves by telling ourselves that we can’t do something because we don’t have the talent, money, time or whatever? Yet, deep inside us, there is this feeling that we can’t let go of. It tugs at our heart strings saying, “You know you want it… wouldn’t it be nice to experience that? It could be a major undertaking such as trying out for the Olympics or  it could be something as simple as learning a new skill. Why do people limit themselves and tell themselves that they can’t do something? I’ve heard the quote, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right”… It’s like we have the little devil and the little angel on each of our shoulders battling it out and we have to choose which one we are going to follow.

Our society is very left brained (or logically) oriented. The left brain is important, however, it can be detrimental if we only rely on that part of us to make decisions. Decisions need to also include our heart… or gut feeling… and perhaps to your logical mind, it doesn’t make sense. Perhaps you don’t have the money right now to do that thing. Perhaps there is no possible way (to your logical mind), but you know… there is always a way, if your desire is strong enough and you believe. Yes, it is true that you might have to take a few steps in the dark, but that is what faith is all about. How can we really grow unless we have those experiences and opportunities that teach us how to trust completely in God that he will show us the way.

I have had one of those feelings for a long time to sing with an A Cappella Group. But I kept putting it off year after year because I was too busy with work and everything else going on in my life. Then finally in Feb 2006, I had enough and I told that little devil where to go 🙂 … and I started my own group. Its been a lot of work and there have been a lot of changes, but I’m still doing the group today and it has brought me so much joy in my life. This picture was taken of me right at the BYU A Cappella Jam in April.

If Jesus Came to Your Home

JesusKnocking1.jpgI love this poem. The author is unknown, but it has a wonderful message. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could be the kind of person at all times that we would be if Jesus was with us?

If Jesus came to your home
to spend a day or two —
If He came unexpectedly,
I wonder what you’d do.

Oh, I know you’d give your nicest room
to such an honored Guest,
And all the food you’d serve Him
would be the very best,
And you would keep assuring Him
you’re glad to have Him there —
That serving Him in your home
is joy beyond compare.

But when you see Him coming
would you meet Him at the door
With arms outstretched in welcome
to your Heavenly Visitor?

Or would you have to change your clothes
before you let Him in,
Or hide some magazines,
and put the Bible where they’d been?

Would you turn off the radio
and hope He hadn’t heard,
And wish you hadn’t uttered
that last, loud, hasty word?

Would you hide your worldly music
and put some hymn books out?
Could you let Jesus walk right in,
or would you rush about?

And I wonder — if the Savior
spent a day or two with you,
Would you go right on doing
the things you always do?

Would you go right on saying
the things you always say?
Would life for you continue
as it does from day to day?

Would your family conversation
keep its usual pace,
And would you find it hard each meal
to say table grace?

Would you sing the songs you always sing,
and read the books you read,
And let Him know the things
on which your mind and spirit feed?

Would you take Jesus with you
everywhere you planned to go,
Or would you, maybe, change your plans
for just a day or so?

Would you be glad to have Him
meet your very closest friends,
Or would you hope they stay away
until His visit ends?

Would you be glad to have Him
stay forever on and on,
Or would you sigh with great relief
when He at last was gone?

It might be interesting to know the things
that you would do,
If Jesus came in person to spend some time with you.

~Author Unknown~

A Visit From My Mother & Father


During the evening of August 27, I had a very special dream. Both of my parents had passed away previously within the past couple years. My dad passed away in August of ’05. He had Alzheimers and was in a rest home for about 5 years prior to that. His death was hard on my mom and about 6 months later, my mom got pneumonia, then got better, then got a stomach infection and passed away as well.

While I was sleeping my parents came to me in my dream. I need to clarify here that it was not a dream about my parents, it was a dream with my parents. For me, it was so real and first my dad appeared and if you were to know my dad, you’d know that he liked to joke around a lot. I had heard at one time that when people die, their hair and nails continue to grow. I don’t know how true this is, I had just heard
it. Anyway, when I saw my Dad, he had really long hair, probably down to his
waist. This was the craziest thing I had seen, especially since he was still
mostly bald on top. He looked like he had just stepped off the set of Pirates
of the
Caribbean… so the first words out of my mouth were “Dad, you
need to get a haircut”… I still don’t know for sure whether it was just my
imagination or whether my Dad thought he’d play a joke on me… I kind of suspect
the latter.

So, I was able to visit with him and then my mother came and I
visited with both of them together. We just talked. We hugged and although I
don’t remember all that was said, I do specifically remember them telling me
how much they loved me and how proud they were of me. They commented on aspects
of my life and how I had been progressing. But more than anything they said to
me, was the love that I felt when I was them in that dream. I woke up crying.
I knew that they had been watching over me and I know that they still are… The
feelings that I had were so real that it wouldn’t have been any more real if
they had been there in person. I was emotional that whole day. It was simply
amazing because afterwards, I kept telling myself “I didn’t know that Love
could feel so wonderful” Of course I knew I loved my parents, but the feeling I
felt was so overwhelmingly powerful that it made me wonder if this is how it
feels when we return home to our Heavenly Father. I feel so grateful to my
Heavenly Father that I was given this gift and it will always be something
special I remember the rest of my life. I feel like it helped me to understand
what love is all about…. and I know it was real. I know my parents visited me that night!

The Meaning of Dreams

dreams2.jpgWhile everyone dreams at night, some dreams are definitely more
meaningful than others. I have had a number of dreams that were
significant in some way, whether as dreams of comfort or even glimpses
into future events. While everyone’s dreams are different, I do believe that they are real in a way that perhaps we do not understand in our current reality. Sometimes dreams represent potential possibilities and sometimes they represent our fears and desires. Dreams are wonderful. They can reveal things about ourselves that perhaps we do not know. I’ll be sharing some dreams here in this blog and feel free to post your comments about what you think!

Overcoming Fear (Part 2 – The Ants)

Ants1.gifAs I mentioned before, I believe that fear
limits our spiritual progress. In the early part of July, I had gone to
Mt. Shasta (in Northern California) for a conference that was being
held there. I’ll post more info about Mt. Shasta later, but let me just
say that it is a very special place. Many people believe that this is
one of the most sacred mountains of the world. There are people that
visit this place from all over and there are many people who have had
encounters there with people from other dimensions and places from
within the earth. There is a city, called Telos, which exists about a
mile below the mountain and this city is inhabited by people who
originally came from the continent of Lemuria (thousands of years ago),
which existed in the Pacific ocean before it sank. According to the
stories, there were about 25,000 at the time who were able to escape
and many of them were able to relocate to below Mt Shasta and establish
the city, known as Telos. (Ok, I guess I’m getting off topic a bit, but
it’s really fascinating stuff).

Anyway, I was with a group of people (perhaps 50-60) and we were
doing a group meditation off one of the trails (Bunny Flats, I think)
and during that meditation, we were told to go within and connect with
our heart, etc. One of the other things that is important to learn is
to listen to the promptings, intuition, feelings, etc that come to us
from within. Too many times, we think that our answers have to come
from external sources (and many times they do), but we should also
confirm those with what we feel inside.

So, after the group meditation, everyone was told that the next
experience was a more personal one. Everyone was to separate and go to
wherever they were told to go. So, it was quite interesting to see 50+
people just spread out going off the paths to wherever they were told
to go. Many people had some neat experiences and I was one of those who
did, although I was not anticipating the kind of experience I was to
have. I really wanted to have a special experience there and I kept
asking, “Where should I go now?” and I would get answers to go this
rock, or to that tree or over that hill. I finally came to a place
where I felt I should stop and meditate and pray.

As I was sitting there praying, I noticed that there were some large
black ants crawling on me, and it was kind of bugging me because they
were interrupting my train of thought. It was at that moment that the
thought came to me, “Let the ants crawl on you”… I was shocked to get
an impression like that. Never, in my wildest dreams would I just let
ants crawl on me, if I could help it. But, I thought I should go with
that and follow that prompting. So, I just sat there and the ants
started to crawl on my legs, arms and hands. I thought that I would get
bit for sure, but they weren’t biting me. It was still hard to just let
them crawl on me. I had some ants crawl into my shirt sleeve and each
new area of unexplored territory they found seemed to get my heart
racing a little more. Then, I would relax and as the minutes passed, I
became more used to it. I’m not saying that I enjoyed it, just that the
fear would subside for a while and the fear would be replaced with
peace. For about 20-30 minutes, I allowed these ants to crawl all over
my body, simply trusting in God that I would not get bit. My fear
turned to peace and tears started to flow from my eyes as I gained a
greater appreciation and love for these little creatures. There were
probably 25 of them crawling all over my skin for that time period, and
yet, I did not get bit once. It is hard to describe, but the experience
was a transforming one for me and perhaps in some small way, reduced my
dependency on fear, replacing it with love.

Overcoming Fear


I recently read about an initiation
ceremony that was used anciently in Egypt to help people
reduce/eliminate fear. These Egyptians understood that Fear was a
barrier that prevented people from ascending into a higher
consciousness. So they spent many years training their students until
finally they came to one particular challenge to assess where there
students were at. This is what they did:

There was a small hole, just large enough to fit one person. Within
that hole was water and it was pitch black. The student was instructed
to swim down into the hole that was filled with water and find another
way out. That was all they were told. As the student swam straight
down, there were ledges that jutted into the column of water, so the
student had to carefully navigate himself/herself downwards. At about
20 feet, the wall on one side opened up and the student was able to
swim underneath it to a section that was lighted. So, as the student
enters this area, he/she starts to swim upward and that is when it
becomes apparent that there are many alligators within the pool of
water. However, because the student is about to run out of air at this
point, he/she has to go up in between the alligators in order to get
air. What the student doesn’t know is that all of the alligators were
already fed, so it is unlikely that the alligators would attack the
student. Regardless, it would be quite the “Fear Factor” adventure.
Then to top it off, the student is told that he/she failed because
there was a different exit point than the one they used. So, after more
training, the student enters the dark abyss again (knowing that there
are alligators) and find the opening at the bottom of the wall on the
other side, which is also pitch black and go up through that.

Although I doubt I’ll ever go through that kind of “overcoming fear”
adventure, I think the topic of overcoming fear is interesting and
important in our spiritual development. There are so many fears that we
have that can stifle our growth. They say the #1 fear of all people is
speaking in public, followed by death. But there are so many other
fears, such as fear of germs/diseases, fear of failure, fear of
rejection, fear of opening yourself up to someone and communicating
your true feelings, etc.

But rather than list all of the various kinds of fear, I would like
to point out an example that I like to think about. Remember when
Christ walked on the water? He wasn’t the only one who did. Peter also
walked on the water (at least for a little while) and then he sunk in
the water. And then Jesus asked Peter the question, “Why do you
fear?”…. So, it is apparent that it was the fear within Peter that
caused an abrupt halt to Peter’s miraculous feat. Although we would
expect Jesus, to be able to perform a miracles such as that, the fact
that Peter was able to do it is amazing because it helps me to
understand that I, too, have the capacity to perform miracles and fear
is the number one enemy that gets in the way of our spiritual
advancement. The Egyptians understood this and that is why I believe
they were so focused on helping people face their fears and then
overcome them. Christ was not fearful, even in the face of death… and
if we can even come a little closer to overcoming more of our own
fears, we will become more like Christ and only accelerate our
spiritual growth. In the next blog post, I’m going to share an
experience I had that deal with facing my own fears.

Knowing Truth


I often wonder about how people come to a
knowledge as to what is true and what isn’t. It seems like much of what
is considered true is simply based on the general (or perceived)
consensus as to what is true. For example, if the majority of any group
of people believe a certain way, it becomes an accepted belief held by
the majority of people. But, history has proven, time and time again,
that an accepted belief system held by the majority of people does not
guarantee truth. In Christopher Columbus’ time, the accepted theory was
that the Earth was flat. We look back and think, “yeah, that obviously
wasn’t true”, but the fact was at the time, the majority of the people
did believe that. So, here you have someone who comes and challenges an
accepted belief, and says, “No, the Earth really is round”… and to me I
am in awe of people who seek and find truth, despite the fact that the
majority are holding onto a different (and incorrect) belief system.

It takes guts to stand up for truth when you are in the minority.
Oftentimes, that one person is ridiculed as a fanatic, whacko,
conspiracy theorist, nut job, etc. There are many names given to people
who question the accepted belief systems of society. But it seems to me
that you would also have to apply those names to any inventor, any
person who instituted positive change, in other words, people who have
made a real difference in this world. Are they all lunatics too because
they didn’t “jump on the bandwagon”? These kinds of people say… “Hey,
there is a better way to how things are being done, and I am going to
find the way”… Then they search and with their searching, they discover
a better way than how things were being done before. These are true
seekers of truth.

But the question that I find myself asking is whether people are
accepting a certain belief system based on what the majority of people
believe to be true or do they accept truth based on what they know to
be true from within. I believe that we can all know the truth, if we
ask and we have a strong desire to find out. However, I think it is
important to not let our ability to “know truth” be dictated by the
likes of mainstream media or other people who may not be inspired. In
the Bible, it says, “Ask and ye shall receive, knock and it shall be
opened unto you”. Is that really true? Do you really believe that you
can know truth simply by asking a question.

Perhaps you are a hard core “left brain” person who has to have
proof in order to believe. What I have found is that many times the
proof that you think you are seeking is actually a barrier to being
able to accept a truth that is not supported by the majority of the
people. The issue isn’t the proof because you can always find something
that seems to support the incorrect belief that you are holding on to.
The issue is the openness of your heart because if you open your heart
to God, then you allow truth to flow to you from within… You get to a
point where you just know. And that is the greatest proof you can have.

Try letting go of your left brain focus and allow your heart to open
up to what is really true. I believe that within the last 10-15 years,
people all over the world are “waking up” to the truth around them. The
lies that have been told to us for decades & even centuries are
starting to become unraveled. Truth is shining forth in a major way.
Accept and believe it because you have asked and you have that
“knowingness” from within.

Being vs. Doing


Perhaps its just me, but it seems like
modern society places an emphasis on doing too many things ….. and by
doing all these things, we are somehow better because we were able to
accomplish more. We are bombarded with things we need to do. But no
matter how much stuff we do, we always have some stuff that doesn’t get
done. So, we give ourselves a guilt treatment and then we start the
next day, doing the same things over and over again. Some days we get a
lot done, so we give ourselves a pat on the back. But despite having
all the latest gadgets, such as palmpilots, Franklin planners, Priority
lists, etc., we somehow end up feeling stressed, overwhelmed,
overworked and unhappy. Is that what our life has become? I, for one,
believe that the emphasis on doing so many things is overrated. We’ve
got to have balance in our lives and we can’t get caught up in the
misconception that “doing” a large number of tasks is equal to success
or happiness. What I would like to propose is that in all of our doing
that we consider what we are becoming… Of course, I am not suggesting
that we stop doing things. We have to do things, but based on my
experience, I have found myself many times trying to do “too many”
things and thereby creating imbalance in my life. There is a time and
place for everything… But one thing that helped me to realize this is
what is commonly referred to as the “BeAttitudes” in the Bible…. Notice
here that they are not referred to as the “DoAttitudes”… The “Be” is
there for a reason. I will say it again, “In all of our doing, we must
consider what we are becoming”… Is it possible to do good things but
not become a better person from it?… Of course, it is…. for example,
how many times do we go help someone, but we do it out of obligation
and inside our heads, we are really wishing we weren’t there… as
opposed to having a sincere desire to help that person.

If our focus is on becoming a person who would help someone out of
pure Christ-like love, then the “doing” is automatic… and how much you
“got done” is irrelevant because your actions stemmed from the
Christ-like person you have become… So, when Christ talks about
“Blessed are the poor in Spirit, blessed are the meek, blessed are the
merciful,” He is talking about the type of people we can become, if we
choose. Perhaps this can help to ease our minds as we go through the
struggles of trying to get our long list of tasks completed.